


Nothing Changed But Everything’s Different

by fullmoonremus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Cheating, F/M, Minor Violence, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25868743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmoonremus/pseuds/fullmoonremus
Summary: Sirius found someone who made him believe in love at first sight.
Relationships: Reader & Other(s), Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Request: Okay! :) Well in that case can I have an ANGST Sirius x Reader? Where they’ve been together for a few years (it’s post-hogwarts only a couple years) but the relationship is starting to sour and crumble. Sirius being Sirius is flirting with other girls and just neglecting y/n. They argue a lot and everyone can see that it’s deteriorating. It gets to a point where he just flat doesn’t acknowledge her even though they live together, long and ANGSTY pls 🥺 :) U decide the ending! :) Ty, much love!
> 
> A/N: I worked really, really hard on this so I hope you enjoy :) Let me know what you think :)

“She’s absolutely gorgeous, Prongs!” A young Sirius Black twirled around the dorm room and fell onto his bed with a dreamy sigh. “She’s witty and smart mouthed, but she’s so sweet and nice at the same time. She listens to the Weird Sisters and Queen and she’s a total badass.” 

“Y/N L/N?” James scoffs, bending over a sketch he was working on. It appeared to be an intricate building of some sort, complete with four stories and geometric windows. 

“Yes, Y/N L/N! I think it’s love at first sight, Prongsy. I’m going to marry that girl one day.” Sirius laid one of his ankles against the post of his bed. The leather of his boot made a loud squeaking noise, and James cringed.

“Have you ever even talked to Y/N L/N?” James smiled smugly and smudged ink across the side of his hand. 

“Have you ever had an actual conversation with Lily Evans?” Sirius countered, making James sputter. James looked diagonally towards Sirius and moved his head so their corresponding bedposts weren’t in the way. 

“I have! This morning, for example! We talked about the morning toast for a full 3 minutes!” His glasses began to fog as his cheeks warm. Sirius laughed heartily and threw the pillow that was under his head square at James’ face. With a deep ‘oof,’ James looks back towards Sirius, glasses now crooked. “Fine, don’t believe me! You’re just angry Evans is finally starting to fall for my charm.” 

“Ah yes, my bad. I forgot sweat and body odor was irresistible to girls.” 

“Lily isn’t a girl.” James reached his slender fingers to level his glasses. “She’s a woman.” 

Sirius was sent into hysterics; chest heaving, loud laughter, tearful, hysterics. James rolled his eyes and threw the pillow back at Sirius. But, in all of its glory, the cushion hit Sirius’ bedpost and sent feathers flying through the air. Sirius busts out in even more laughter, falling to the floor with a big, dramatic thud. 

“What’s going on here?” Remus asks, entering the room and setting his bag onto his bed. “Why is Pads on the floor?” 

“JP assaulted me!” 

“I DID NOT YOU THREW FIRST!!!” 

Remus chuckled under his breath and unbuckled his bag to retrieve his homework. “And what exactly caused this alleged assault? Did Sirius call you Prancer again?” 

A bark sounding laugh came from Sirius and James scowled. 

“No, we were just talking about his newfound obsession with Y/N L/N and he took an unwarranted dig at mine and Lily’s relationship.” 

Remus snorted and set his work on his desk. “What relationship?” Sirius let out another “HA” and pulled himself back onto his mattress. “And isn’t Y/N L/N the one who called your hair greasy, Pads?” 

“Well, yes, but I like a woman with a bit of attitude,” Sirius sighed dreamily. His left pointer finger, ring and all, came to twirl a chunk of his hair. “I think I want an autumn wedding.” 

“You’re not getting married to her, mate. You don’t even know her.” James came to Remus’ bed and started poking around his bag. “Are you putting on the scar ointment Pomfrey gave you still, Moons? Hey! Stop picking at that one, you’re going to make it worse!” He slapped Remus’ hand away from his face and Remus rolled his eyes. 

“Who are you? My mother?” 

“I am too going to marry her, James! Just watch me!” 

Peter opened the door solemnly, a grumpy look plastered on his face. James turns nervously towards him before slapping him on the back. 

“What happened, Pete? I thought you were supposed to be on a date?” 

“I was, but she stood me up. Again.” Peter responds, making a beeline for the window seat. Conveniently, it was located next to his bed, so he haphazardly tossed his school bag onto the mattress. He grabs hold of one of the pillows before hugging it to his chest and burying his head into it. Sirius and James share a look before Sirius speaks up. 

“Awh, you’ll get ‘em next time. Don’t worry too much about it. It’s her loss, really.” 

“No, it was my loss. It was Abagail Cavin, mate. It was definitely my loss.” Peter’s voice was muffled as he muttered into the soft fabric. 

“Who’s Abagail Cavin?” Sirius asks, looking towards Remus for an answer. He shrugs. 

“I think that’s the ginger girl who always hangs around Y/N L/N? A year or two below us,” James thought aloud. “She’s friends with Lily too, I’ve seen them studying together.” 

Remus snorts. “Of course you have.” 

“I don’t know if I’m sad or angry.” The mousy boy admits, throwing the pillow in his lap at the wall. It hit one of Sirius’ Queen posters, making the frame fall to the floor with a loud crash. James is quick to swoop in and redirect Peter’s attention in fear of him escalating. 

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, there’s no need to get mad at Abagail. Um, how about we go get some sweets from the kitchens, yeah? Maybe that’ll make you feel better.” 

Peter tightened his jaw, staring at the now shattered frame on the ground. After a moment of silence from all the boys, Peter nodded and the pair exited the room. 

~

“Y/N L/N,” Sirius spoke in his signature flirty voice. He tried to match her walking pace, but she seemed to be in a rush. 

“Sirius Black, what can I do for you?” Y/N answered, her school uniform skirt swaying as she walked. She was on her way to meet Abagail in the library so the two could study together, and she was already 5 minutes late. 

“I was wondering if you would -excuse me, sorry- if you would like to go to the next Quidditch match with me?” Y/N seemed to swerve in and out of the crowded hallway like a car in heavy traffic. “Supposed to be a good game, you know.” 

“Me? Go with you? While you cheer your little boyfriend on? Thanks for offering, but I have to decline.” 

“Come on, you always go anyway! It could be fun!” Sirius finally matched Y/N’s fast gait. “And maybe we could grab some hot butterbeer or cider after.” 

Y/N sighed, suddenly stopping at the entrance of the library. She faced Sirius boldly and grabbed his upper arms with her hands. 

“Listen, it’s really flattering that you want me to go with you, and I have to admit, you’re super cute. But, you don’t exactly have the best track record with girls and I don’t want to be just a checkmark on your list of girls to shag.” 

While any person would be wounded by Y/N’s blunt assumptions, Sirius grins. “That’s where you’re wrong, love. I don’t really have a track record with girls, unless you count the week I dated Marlene McKinnon the October of our 2nd year. It’s our 7th year and I’ve had one kind-of girlfriend.”

Sirius watched as Y/N’s facial expression changed. Taking this as an invitation to keep going, he rubs his hands together and continues. “And if you’re talking about shagging, I’ve shagged maybe three girls who were not on some kind of to-fuck list, thank you very much.” Sirius suddenly leans in so he could whisper. “I’m just flirty. And based on the look on your face, the flirting is working.” 

“Y/N!” Abagail’s voice made Y/N drop her hands and Sirius smirk. “What are you doing?” 

“Oh, we’re just chit chatting,” Sirius answers for Y/N. “But, I do have a question for you, Ab.” 

Abagail’s face scrunched in response. “Don’t call me that. What’s your question?” 

“Why’d you stand up my mate Peter?” Sirius now stood with his feet shoulders width apart, arms crossed over his chest and his hair pulled to one side. Y/N couldn’t help but admire how well Sirius’ uniform pants fit. 

“What do you mean, stand him up? We talked about hanging out, but we never made actual plans. Honestly, I don’t really think I want to make any official plans. Some of the things he says are kinda scary.” Y/N looks sympathetically towards her friend.

“I told you to just ignore him, babes.” 

“I know, I know. I really think he’s a nice guy deep down though.” 

Sirius looked puzzled, “What harmless, little Peter Pettigrew says scares you?” 

Abagail nods frantically, “He came and sat with Lily and me when we were studying in the library last week. He went on a rant about how he can’t wait to become an Auror just to see,” The girl lifted her fingers to so air quotes. “How far he can take it.” 

“That doesn’t sound like Peter at all,” Sirius’ eyebrows knit in confusion. 

“Well, it was. And Y/N and I have a lot of studying to do. So, if you’ll excuse us.” Abagail gently tugged at Y/N’s arm. 

“Wait! So, is it a date, Y/N?” Sirius called after the girls. Y/N turned over her shoulder and beamed. 

“Common room before the match. I don’t like to be kept waiting, Black!”

~

“You don’t like to be kept waiting… but you think it’s perfectly okay to leave me all alone in the common room? That’s not very kind, Y/N.” Sirius watched Y/N descend the stairs to the girls dormitory. He was wearing his Gryffindor sweater and ripped black jeans, his hair tied messily in a bun. A long, striped scarf dangled lazily on his shoulders and draped down his frame to his mid thigh. 

“I said before the match and if I’m not mistaken, it’s before the match.” Y/N tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Are those for me?” 

Sirius quickly stood, holding out a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers. “Heh, yeah. I thought it was fitting because it’s the middle of October and we’re going to a Quidditch match. The leaves are orange and there’s so many colors and the sunflowers have the same kind of color pallet-” 

“Sirius, they’re lovely. Thank you.” Y/N cut off the blabbering boy. She took the flowers happily and observed their pretty petals. Sirius was right; the rich golden color matched the fallen leaves that littered the Hogwarts grounds. Y/N held up a waiting finger to Sirius so she could go leave her flowers in her dorm. 

“It’s pretty cold out, love, do you want to grab a jacket?” Sirius said when she returned. 

“It’s all in the name of fashion, my dear,” Y/N pulls a piece of hair behind her ear and nods towards the portrait hole. “Shall we?” 

Y/N sat in the crowd with her legs crossed; her shoulders were slumped forwards and her hands stayed sandwiched in between her thighs. Gryffindor was absolutely destroying Ravenclaw with the impressive score of 80-10. 

“The snitch is right by Potter’s head!” Y/N screeched, bumping Sirius’ shoulder with her own. 

“Where?! I don’t see it!” 

“To the right! Meadowes needs to catch it before Lockhart sees it!” Y/N shivers in spite of herself, bringing her hands to her mouth in order to warm them. Sirius snickers and loops his scarf around her shoulders. 

“Hopefully that doesn’t ruin your outfit, love.” Sirius winks and turns back to the game. 

The scarf was soft and toasty, and smelt exactly like Sirius. The satisfying mix of leather, butterbeer, pine and smoke engulfed her senses and made her dizzy. Y/N wrapped it around her arms and snuggled deeper into the soft knit. 

“Meadowes spots the snitch!” Remus announces over the intercom. The entire statum seemed to erupt into chaos; cheers and boos echoing off of every surface within 500 feet. 

Y/N had always had a soft spot for Remus; they weren’t friends, but something about him was so warm and inviting. He in no way seemed like the type to announce a Quidditch match, but it appears that when you’re friends with James Potter long enough, anything could happen. 

Dorcas zooms past the Gryffindor student section in her pursuit for the snitch. The entire group, Lily and Marlene especially, scream out loud words of encouragement. Y/N could have sworn she could see a faint smile appear across Dorcas’ features. 

“Potter scores! 10 points to Gryffindor! 90-10! Ravenclaw could still win if Lockhart catches the snitch!” 

“Come on, come on,” Sirius mumbles under his breath. No matter how much he liked to deny it, Sirius got really into Quidditch. He couldn’t play for shit, but he knew the mechanics of the game like the back of his hand. 

“Meadowes catches the snitch! Gryffindor wins!!” The entire crowd goes ballistic. Kids hug, and some kiss, before storming the field to congratulate their team. James stays on his broom, doing small loops in the air in the hopes of impressing a certain redhead. 

Sirius wraps his strong arms around his date, pulling her to her feet and lifting her into the air. “We won, Y/N! We won!!” 

Y/N snakes her arms around Sirius in return, a similar happiness bubbling in her chest. 

“What’d ya say about grabbing some hot cider from the kitchens to celebrate?” Sirius questions, noticing they’re the last students at their seats. 

Y/N nods, a soft smile gracing her face. “Yes, please. I’m fucking freezing.” 

~

“It would be easier if you just levitated the boxes in, love.” Y/N watched as Sirius struggled to carry boxes into the living room of their new flat. She giggled, admiring her boyfriend’s flexed biceps and strong hands. The prominent veins in his hands and forearms were bulging, making the manual labor a show for his very happy girlfriend. 

“I feel like that’s bad luck,” Sirius explained, placing the cardboard onto the floor. “I want to do this right. If I don’t we could be cursed.” 

“Whatever you say, babe. But, just so you know, that box goes into the kitchen.” With a flirty wink and smile, Y/N walked into their bedroom to unpack some of their boxes. 

Their new flat wasn’t overly exciting; it was a one bedroom, one bath flat above a small bakery in the center of London. It was a tiny space, as you’d expect two barely-twenty-year-olds to own, but it would soon be their home. Y/N was just excited the flat had a kitchenette and a small living space. 

The best part, in Y/N’s opinion at least, was the fact that the smell of freshly baked bread filled their flat at the beginning of each day. The elderly bakery owners, Jullian and Caspar, had given the young couple a good price on the flat. According to them, they were waiting for the perfect couple to rent from them. What that meant, Y/N didn’t know, but it made her feel special all the same. 

Y/N looked out of their window to the hustle and bustle on the sidewalk below. The shop was a small, hole in the wall bakery called Dream Puffs, that was oddly popular for its location. And Y/N was quick to understand why. Almost everything they made, especially the sour dough bread and cream puffs, were to die for. Jillian had presented Sirius and her a large loaf of the bread and a dozen cream puffs as a welcome present, most of which had been eaten already. Y/N wished she had known of Dream Puffs and the wonderful owners before, but she supposed she still had a lot to discover in London. 

The one downside was the only way to get into their apartment was by going through the bakery. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but when you’re in a rush or having a bad day, having to face random people isn’t the most ideal situation. Jullian and Caspar were nice enough to close the bakery early for the couple’s move in. 

“I thought you were supposed to be unpacking?” Sirius poked his head into their bedroom with sweat dripping down his brow. 

“Oh right, sorry,” Y/N lazily flicked her wand and their clothing sprang to life. 

“Bad luck, Y/N!” He entered the room and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, laid his chin on her shoulder and looked out the window. The busy streets and buildings were muted by the glass, which made Y/N feel as if they were watching ants in an ant farm. 

“I doubt we’ll get bad luck from levitating a few shirts, darling,” Y/N brought one of his hands to her mouth, gently kissing his knuckles before returning it to her waist. “I can’t believe this place is ours,” 

“Well, technically it’s Jillian’s and Caspars, but yes.” Sirius chuckles directly into Y/N’s ear and kisses her shoulder. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“Are you asking me to marry you?” 

“Yes and no. Not now, obviously, but eventually. We’re going to be together forever anyway, so why should we rush?” 

Y/N sighed happily, feeling very loved. 

~

“Do you think Abagail will ever talk to me again?” Peter asked, laying his head against the armrest of the couch. “I heard she's working at the book shop in Diagon Alley.” 

Y/N snorted, laying her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder and enjoying the sound of the record playing in the corner of the room. Sirius and Y/N were hosting a dinner party for their friends in celebration of James getting accepted into the Auror academy. The nine of them -Sirius, Y/N, James, Lily, Peter, Remus, Marlene, Dorcas, and Mary- were all piled in Sirius and Y/N’s small living room, tipsy and full of warm food. 

“That happened almost two years ago, Pete. Let it go,” Y/N hummed, Sirius’ gentle hand rubbing her back and lulling her to sleep. She could feel the vibrations of Sirius’ laughter through his leather jacket. 

“Yeah, so? I’m not allowed to like someone that long?” Peter’s voice was harsher than he anticipated, making Sirius send a glare his way. 

“She means stop moping around and pining after a girl who doesn’t want you. There’s a world of opportunity and thousands of girls just waiting to date you if you open your eyes to it.” Sirius’ tone was barely lighter than Peter’s. 

“Well I don’t want thousands of girls, Padfoot. I want Abagail. Not everyone can hit it on their first try.” 

“Hit it on their first try?” Y/N was now wide awake. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“I mean,” Peter sat up, looking Y/N straight in the eyes. “You fucked Sirius on the first date.” 

“Woah, woah, woah, alright that’s enough. Wormy, Pads, Y/N, let’s all just take a deep breath and calm down for a moment.” James was quick on his feet to defuse the potentially harmful situation. He knew how Peter could get, and he didn’t want to see it escalate to that point. 

“Did you just slut shame me for having sex with my own boyfriend? Do you even have the authority to do that, Mr. Unused-Condom?” Y/N was now standing with James, starting to walk towards Peter. Peter stumbled to his feet and stared into Y/N’s eyes. 

“He wasn’t your boyfriend then, Miss Drop-My-Panties-for-a-Knut.” 

Sirius was quick to act, anger boiling inside of him. His knuckles balled into a fist and he threw a nasty punch square into Peter’s jaw. “No one insults my girl, Peter. I thought you knew better than that.” Sirius’ voice was like nothing Y/N had ever heard; it was cold and icy, yet fiery hot and full of hell-bending anger. 

Peter looked up and slugged Sirius right in the nose, making it gush blood. Remus grabs Sirius’ arms and binds them behind his back, trusting James to do the same to Peter. 

Y/N shrieked, having never seen Sirius or Peter get physical with anyone, let alone each other. Marlene grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the boys. 

“What have we talked about, you two?” James demanded, the vein on his neck bulging. 

“I’m not going to sit around and let him harass my girlfriend, JP! He’s a fucking asshole and he knows it!” Sirius struggled against his binds, but Remus was much stronger than him. 

“I’m not the one dating a slut!” 

“Get the fuck out of my flat!” Sirius screams making the room shake. Peter wiggles from James’ grip and grabs his wand before disapperating out of the room. 

Remus releases Sirius and he stomps out of the flat and down the stairs, most likely to go smoke a cigarette. James quickly follows after a glance towards Lily. 

“What did James mean when he said ‘what have we talked about,’ Remus?” Y/N asks, her soft voice a stark contrast from Sirius’ shouting. Remus runs a big hand down his face and plops onto the couch. 

“I wasn’t supposed to let you girls know,” He scoffs, shaking his head. “Sirius and Peter have been at each other’s throats for the past few years. Recently, it started getting physical. James always tries to defuse the situation, but it doesn’t work a ton.” Remus meets Y/N’s gaze and smiles sadly. “That boy would do absolutely anything for you, I hope you know that.” 

~

Sirius laid in bed with his arms wound tightly around Y/N’s waist. It was near 5 am and the light was just barely peeking through the window of their bedroom. The morning bread must have just been put in the oven, as the smell of fresh bread was slowly starting to overtake the flat. A long sliver of silver light slashed against the wall before fading delicately into the white paint. Sirius sighed contently and looked down at his girl. 

Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly agape; Sirius observed how Y/N’s eyes moved under her eyelids while wondering what she was dreaming about. He hoped she dreamt of him, as his dreams were constantly riddled with her. Every aspect of her danced around his dreams: her lovely smile, her laugh, her scent, her gait, and everything that made Y/N Y/N. Sirius’ own lips parted a miniscule amount as he brought the back of his fingers to brush her cheek. He couldn’t help but notice how soft her skin was under his touch. She was so peaceful in this moment, and if she was to be disturbed, the world would crack. 

But all good things come to an end, and Y/N opened her eyes. Her features were riddled with the grogginess of sleep as she batted her eyes to focus her vision. 

“Darling? Is everything alright?” Her voice was honey in his ears. 

“Perfect, my love. Go back to sleep.” 

“What time is it?” Y/N began to wiggle from his strong grip, but Sirius tightened his hold on her waist. 

The man shot a spare glance at the old coo-coo clock that hung in the corner. “Quarter to five” 

“Then may I ask why you’re awake?” 

Sirius sighed, pressing an opened mouth kiss on her forehead. “Couldn’t sleep, the nightmares are still awry.” 

“What was it this time? Your mom?” Y/N was now wide awake and propped up onto her elbow. 

“No, the last Order mission, actually,” Sirius gently brushed a clump of hair out of her eyes. “But it’s okay, I’m alright. I have you here with me.” 

Y/N’s eyebrows scrunched and her mouth pierced. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No, my darling. I just want to lay here with my beautiful girl in my arms.” 

~ 

“I’ve never been to this bar before,” Y/N giggles as Sirius opens the door to the small building. The outside’s appearance was rather unappealing; cracked, exposed brick that has moss growing out of it, a leaky gutter system, a splintering wooden door and a faded open sign. Y/N looked up towards the LED sign that spelled out the bar’s name. Silver Sickle Bar and Eatery illuminated in the wet pavement, but multiple letters were unlit, making it read Silver Ickle and Eat. 

“Me either, one of my clients works here and said she’d give me free drinks.” Sirius winked before following Y/N inside. 

The place was small and drafty, but oddly cozy. It had the same exposed brick as the outside, but this time, they were bright red and covered in picture frames. A few wooden tables were scattered across the floor opposite the bar, and various older men sat with beers in their hands. 

“Oh, Sirius! My love, you came!” A very angelic girl from behind bar squeals, quickly exciting the bar and throwing her arms around Sirius. Her hurried speed made Y/N step away from the pair to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Sirius chuckles heartily, wrapping his arms around her small frame, seeming to forget Y/N was there. 

“Vanessa! Nice to see you again,” He exhaled. A sinking feeling settled in the bottom of Y/N’s stomach. “How is your tattoo healing?” 

Vanessa pulls her shirt down to show Sirius the skin in between her breasts. On her skin sat a magical tattoo of a Hongorian Horntail dragon, which looked towards Sirius and blew a big breath of fire his way. The art was gorgeous, very obviously Sirius’ work, which only made Y/N’s stomach sink further into her feet. The red, lacy, v neck bra Vanessa was wearing brought out the ink in the tattoo perfectly, and the shape of the cut displayed not only her breasts, but the dragon beautifully. 

Y/N knew that many of Sirius’ clients were girls; she wasn’t stupid. He was a newly licensed tattoo artist at the biggest magical tattoo parlor in all of London. Not to mention, Sirius was an incredibly talented artist, which meant his appointment list was extremely difficult to get on. The charming attitude and good looks only added to the appeal of his artistry. 

“Who’s this?” Vanessa turned her gaze from Sirius’ to look directly at Y/N. Her long, black hair fell over her shoulder like a waterfall and her porcelain skin glowed under the dim lighting. 

“Oh! Right,” Sirius stuttered, shooting a grin in Y/N’s direction. “This is my gorgeous girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N this is Vanessa, I did her dragon tattoo last week.” 

Y/N forced herself to send a polite smile towards the girl who was just all over her boyfriend. Vanessa sent an equally fake smile and began to walk back to the bar. 

“And what can I get started for you, handsome?” She giggled, standing in front of the large wall of liquor. Y/N felt as if she was back at Hogwarts with all the girls throwing themselves at Sirius. 

“Old fashioned,” Sirius responded, taking place on one of the wooden stools. “And for the lady, tequila on the rocks with lime.” 

Vanessa sends Y/N an icy look before giggling sweetly. “Coming right up.” 

Y/N sends a worried glance towards Sirius, but he just responds by squeezing her thigh and kissing her temple. 

“So, do you have any tattoos? Since you’re so good at your job, I would assume you do, yes?” Vanessa asks, pouring Sirius’s drink and sliding it towards him. 

“Quite a few,” He catches the glass before it flies off the bar. “Most of them are covered by my shirt though.” 

It was true, Sirius’ torso and shoulders were littered with tattoos: A large lion across his right shoulder onto his bicep, stag antlers across his shoulder blades, a moon on the lower left side of his stomach, rat paw marks under the moon, and constellations riddling his collarbones. 

The bartender tilts her head to the side cheekily. “Can I see them?” 

Sirius chuckles in a very happy, flattered way. “I don’t think that’s quite necessary here,” 

“But I can already see this one…” Vanessa reached her arm across the bar and traced the bottom of the lion’s mane with her long, slender fingers. The tattoo seemed to move with her movements. “Can’t I see the rest?” 

Y/N coughs, slapping her hand against the bar. The vibration of Y/N’s sudden movement caused Sirius’ drink to wobble inside the glass. “I think I ordered a tequila not a random chick flirting with my boyfriend.” 

“Of course, how foolish of me.” Vanessa sent a scowl Y/N’s way and turned her back to fetch the bottle of alcohol. Sirius matched Vanessa’s expression. 

Once the flirt finished making Y/N’s drink, she slid it over to her. Y/N took a sip, only to find it was awfully made and very watered down. 

“Sirius, babe, I have a headache, can we go home?” 

“You didn’t have a headache a minute ago?” Sirius raises an eyebrow. 

“I know, I just feel a migraine coming on. I really need to take my migraine potion before it gets bad. Please?” 

Sirius sighs and nods, throwing an arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple. “Of course, babygirl.” 

The pair stand from their stools but Vanessa stops them. “That’ll be 2 galleons for the tequila.”

“You said you’d give me free drinks?” Sirius placed a comforting hand on Y/N’s lower back, rubbing small circles over her shirt. 

“Yeah, for you. The tequila wasn’t for you.” 

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled out two galleons, slamming them onto the bar. 

“Can I bet on seeing you again?” A loud giggle comes from her mouth as the couple exited the building. “Maybe you can show me your tattoos.” 

~

“I don’t know, Lily! She was all over him and he didn’t stop it.” Y/N bit into an apple and traced the Potters’ tablecloth. It was a month after Sirius and Y/N had visited The Silver Sickle, and Y/N couldn’t keep her anxieties to herself. 

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” Lily responded, kneading a big glob of pie crust at the counter. Potter Cottage was much larger than Sirius and Y/N’s flat above Dream Puffs. Earlier that month, Lily had announced she was pregnant, so James decided it was time to upgrade from their small flat to a house fit to raise a family. 

“Yes, but each time I try to bring her up he gets defensive and assures me that it was nothing, that he was trying to get free drinks.” 

Lily stared down at her dough intensely before grabbing her rolling pin. “Well, I wouldn’t let him get away with it. Maybe try to ask him again tonight? Just sit down and have a real, hearts on the table conversation about your feelings and whatnot. It’s important to do that.” 

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He’s been staying at work late this entire week. Apparently, one of his clients is getting a full back tattoo and it’s taking multiple sessions to finish. This is his biggest job to date, I don’t want to ruin it for him.” 

“How late is late?” The mom-to-be laid the pie crust into her pan and began to trim the excess off of the edges. 

“Nine, sometimes ten. He comes home exhausted.” 

“Hm, okay. I’d still try to speak with him if you can. How’s your work going? St. Mungos treating you well?” 

“Oh, yeah, definitely. My supervisor said that I’m one of the best beginning level healers he’s seen since Pomfrey worked in my ward,” Y/N took another bite of her apple. “I might get transferred to the branch in France for a week coming up, though. There was a big gas explosion and they have over 200 burn victims. My supervisor said it would be a good experience for me.” 

“Oh, I read about that in The Prophet! Those poor people,” Lily filled the crust with apple pie filling. “I’m sure they need all the help they can get.” 

“Oh, I know. I haven’t learned much about burn solvents yet, so it’ll be interesting to learn on the job.” 

“Are you going this week? What a shame, it’s your birthday on Saturday.” 

“Oh, no, the earliest I would be leaving is a fortnight from now. I’m kind of a last resort, since I don’t have much experience or training yet.” Y/N stood and threw her apple core into the bin. “How’s JP doing at the Academy? He’s in his second year by now, right?” 

“Oh, he’s doing lovely. The Order is grateful for his efforts and have been sending him on more missions than before.” Lily sighs. “It’s rather nerve wracking, isn't it? You’re lucky Sirius doesn’t get called on many.” 

Y/N laughed a bit uncomfortably. “Yeah, I suppose they prefer actual Aurors to go on the calls. But when he does go, those are the worst nights. I can’t imagine having to go through that on a daily basis.” 

“It’s really hard,” Lily’s voice cracks and she begins to cry. “I’m sorry, it’s the hormones.” 

“Don’t apologize, Lils. I know how scary it can be. At least he's with Wormtail most of the time, yeah? They’re at the academy together and all.” 

Lily takes a deep breath to control her crying. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Thank god for Wormy.” 

~

“Hello there, pretty lady. I heard there’s a 21st birthday party to be thrown?” James said happily as Y/N opened the door of the flat. Lily and Remus tailed him ever so slightly, all three wearing large grins and holding brightly wrapped packages. 

“Birthday party? You guys don’t-” 

James waved his hand dismissively. “We’re already here, so you’re kind of stuck with us. Peter should be here eventually.” The three push their way into the living room. 

“The nice elderly woman downstairs asked me to bring you this,” Remus held out a cupcake with bright red frosting. Y/N took it happily and walked to the kitchen to set it on the counter. 

“Thank you, Moony. But, really, you guys didn’t have to. Sirius isn’t even here.” Y/N felt self conscious around her friends. She was wearing an old tee shirt from her early teens, a beloved Scooby Doo tee with a rip in the left armpit, and black yoga pants. It was safe to say Y/N was more than ready to spend her birthday alone. 

“What do you mean, not here?” Remus was standing in the corner of the living room, flipping through Sirius and Y/N’s record collection. They had so many at this point that the couple was unsure which record belonged to who. 

“I don’t know, he left early this morning saying he got called into work. Something about an angry customer.” Y/N felt small under the group’s gaze. “I wasn’t really paying attention, I was half asleep.” 

Y/N watched as Lily and James shared a look. “I didn’t think the shop was open on Saturdays, but I guess they are.” Y/N’s shoulders lowered visibly, making Lily backtrack. “It’s the pregnancy brain, Y/N. I’ve been mixing things up for the past week and a half.” 

“Right, right. Of course. Um, how’s that going, by the way?” She crossed her arms across her stomach uncomfortably. 

“Oh, it’s going wonderful! We actually have something to give you, if that’s okay.” 

“Wait!” James cut in. “We should wait for Wormy to get here!” 

Lily hit his chest with the back of her hand. “Oh, come off it. You know how late he is to everything! Let’s do it now.” The couple led Y/N to the couch and sat on either side of her, both wearing matching shit-eating grins. Remus remained leaning against the wall, ready to flip the record when the time came. James placed a medium sized purple box on her lap. 

Y/N carefully undid the wrapping paper, prompting James to let out a loud groan. 

“Any day now, woman!” 

Y/N giggled. “Hey! It’s my birthday! Be nice to me!” 

“I am being nice to you, Y/N! I gave you a present, didn’t I?” 

Y/N bumped her shoulder with his and reached into the box. Her fingertips met with the soft fabric of a tee shirt. Upon pulling the garment out completely, she observed that the words World’s Best Godmother was printed across the front. Immediately, Y/N dropped the shirt and covered her mouth with her hand. 

“Is that a yes?” Lily asked, her eyes tearing again. 

“Yes! Oh my god!” Y/N’s own tears trailed down her cheeks as she hugged both tightly. “Me? Godmother?” 

“I can’t think of anyone more worthy,” Remus remarked as he watched the heart warming scene unfold in front of him. Y/N was so overwhelmed with joy that she had almost forgotten that Sirius was absent. Almost. 

The party went along swimmingly from there on out; Peter had arrived shortly after Y/N unboxed Remus’ gift, a new cauldron and potion ingredients, and another gift from the Potters, a pair of gorgeous black combat boots. The mousey-boy shuffled over to Y/N and handed her a small gift bag. 

“Oh? Thanks, Pete.” Y/N awkwardly pulled out the contents of the bag. “Oh, good, a gift card to Silver Sickle Bar and Eatery.” She tried to sound thankful towards the man in front of her, but the disdain was still evident in her voice. 

“Sirius said it was his favorite bar, so I thought you’d like it. Maybe we can grab some lunch there, obviously my treat,” He lazily gestures to the card in her hand. “We haven’t really hung out for a while. I figured it would be nice. If you don’t like it I can get you something diff-” 

Y/N cut him off with a hug, “Thank you, Peter, this was really thoughtful. Would next week work?” 

“Wednesday?” He wraps his arms around Y/N’s frame for a moment before letting go. 

“Wednesday works perfectly.” 

The four continued to hang out well into the night; laughing, chatting, drinking, listening to music and playing board games. As the party dragged on, Y/N couldn’t help but grow worried about Sirius’ whereabouts. Her worries were harshly pushed aside, though, when Lily suggested they play poker. 

“Ugh, I fold.” Peter slams his cards down onto the coffee table and laid back onto the carpet in defeat. Y/N smirked at Remus, her only opponent, and gestured for him to show her his cards. 

“Straight, beat that,” Remus says confidently. James and Peter “oooh” childishly and looked towards Y/N. It was very apparent that all of them, besides Lily, were very buzzed. 

Y/N smirked and shook her head, “You play a hard bargain, Lupin. So good that I applaud you. But,” Y/N laid her hand on the table: four of a kind. “You’re just not good enough.” 

The room laughs as Y/N pulls the large pile of galleons, sickles, knuts and Lily’s wedding ring towards her. Y/N slips it onto her own ring finger and holds her hand as if to admire it. 

“Oh, Lily, dear, don’t you just adore my new ring? Look at how it glistens in the light!” 

The redhead rolls her eyes and snatches it off of Y/N’s finger. “I’ll just be taking that,” She puts it back on. 

“It will forever be known to be my legal property, Evans. Don’t forget it!” 

“Does that mean I’m married to both of you now?” James smiles a dopey grin and looks back and forth between the two women. Y/N pretends to gag. 

“On second thought, I surrender my rights to your ring.” 

The group continued their laughter until the front door of the flat swung open. A very drunk Sirius Black stumbled in the door, dumbfounded as to why all of his friends were in his house. 

“Why are you guys here?” Sirius slurred, pulling up the shoulder of his leather jacket. He bumped the record player in the process, making Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac skip. 

“It’s Y/N’s birthday, Sirius,” Remus responded, his soft voice contrasting to his previously upbeat tone. Sirius slouched against the wall and slid down it until he hit the floor. 

“Y/N’s birthday...Y/N’s birthday...Oh! Y/N’s birthday! Was that today?” 

James was quick to jump into action. Propelling himself off of the couch, he took Sirius into his arms and brought him to a standing position. Sirius, of course, whined the entire way up, claiming that the floor wanted him to sit there. James responded with a small hum before peeling Sirius’ jacket off of his body and throwing it onto the kitchen counter. As Y/N watched, she couldn’t help but notice a bright pink smear on Sirius’ neck. 

“Yes, it’s today you, big goof. Where have you been?” 

Sirius went into a big flurry of words as James brought him towards the bedroom. Y/N thought she heard ‘And you should have seen her!’ amidst all the jumbled words, but she pied that off as her anxious imagination running ary. Lily’s hand found her back and she rubbed soothing circles on Y/N’s shoulder blades. 

“He forgot,” Y/N said to no one in particular. “I can’t believe he actually forgot.” 

“I’m sure he didn’t forget,” Lily soothed Y/N. “He probably got carried away at happy hour, you know how he gets.” 

“Happy hour on Y/N’s birthday though?” Peter shook his head. Something about his tone didn’t sit well with Y/N. Lily shot a glare his way. 

The party did not last much longer; Remus said he had an interview with Dumbledore about a TA position at Hogwarts, Lily was tired, and Peter said that he was going on a mission tomorrow and needed rest. Y/N bid her friends farewell with large hugs and thank you’s. 

It’s safe to say that Y/N slept on the couch that night. 

~

Y/N awoke to sunlight in her eyes and a crick in her neck. The living room window wasn’t guarded with curtains, so even at the early hour of 4:30 AM, the room was illuminated with soft oranges, reds and pinks. Y/N sat up and reached her hands above her head to stretch her back. She looks towards the bedroom door, listening for the soft snores of her boyfriend. Her neck screamed in agony, but she still stood and padded over to open the door. 

Y/N twisted the doorknob with care, trying to be as silent as humanly possible. She needed to see Sirius, not have a conversation with him. Alas, in all his glory, Sirius lied on his stomach with his mouth hung open and drool oozing onto the pillow. The girl admired how he looked as he slept; the sharp jaw, the perfect skin, the messy hair, the peaceful look gracing his features. He still wore his skinny jeans from the day previous, but at some point during the night, he discarded his white dress shirt. Y/N’s gaze darted around the floor until it landed on the crumpled fabric. 

Y/N glanced back at Sirius, admiring the artwork that filled his back. She remembered the day he got it; James cried when he first saw the gorgeous antlers. The low light highlighted the dark brown ink and seemed to make his skin appear airbrushed. Y/N smiled in spite of herself. 

Closing the door softly, Y/N walks into their small kitchen to prepare some tea in order to calm her nerves. The apartment was rather messy from the ‘party’ and Y/N had to dig through endless dirty dishes to find a mug clean enough to use. Y/N finally found one, a lavender mug that Marlene had given her for her 17th birthday, and set it on the counter while she filled the kettle. 

The kitchen wasn’t as dirty as Y/N previously thought. Sure, the sink was overflowing with dishes, but the kitchen itself was rather clean. And besides Sirius’ leather jacket, the counter was clear. The floor, though, was slightly sticky. Y/N sighs and flicks her wand; almost silently, the dishes start cleaning themselves. 

Y/N reaches for Sirius’ jacket, only to have a squishy substance fall onto her feet. She jumps back in surprise and disgust of the weird texture. But, the real panic sets in when she notices a big red spot on not only the floor, but the leather jacket. Upon further investigation, Y/N realizes it’s the frosting from the cupcake Remus had given her. Sirius was very protective of this jacket and if he saw this, Y/N would be a dead man. So, she did the only reasonable thing she could think of: scrub the material with a wet paper towel. 

Thankfully, the frosting came off easily and didn’t stain the material. The only real obstacle was the sweet scent of the frosting lingering on the garment. Sirius had an insane sense of smell, so if he picked up even the slightest trail of sugar, Y/N would be busted. She delicately lifted the material to her nose. 

The musky scent of Sirius filled her nose as normal; leather, smoke, cologne and spearmint. Y/N grinned at the familiar scent, until she noticed a strong rose perfume almost ingrained into the leather. Y/N’s perfume smelled of vanilla. 

~

Y/N held her breath as she opened the door of the Silver Sickle, she was in no mood to see Vanessa again. All the same, Y/N put effort into her appearance just in case. She let out her breath when she noticed an old man behind the bar and Peter sitting in the corner. 

“Hey,” Y/N said breathlessly as she pulled out one of the wooden chairs and sat down. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little nervous meeting Peter alone; the two seemed to rekindle their friendship after he and Sirius fought. He promised that he was just drunk and not thinking, and Y/N not wanting to cause childish conflict within their friend group, had accepted his apology. 

“Hey!” He squeaked. “I didn’t know if you wanted to day drink or not, so I just ordered you a water to start off with.” 

Y/N laughed awkwardly. “Thanks, Wormy.” She took a long sip from her straw, trying to slow her nervous heart. “So, uh, how’s the academy? James said you are taking more and more missions with the order.” 

Peter nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, it’s great! Being an Auror is really fun, you really get to show people who’s boss, ya know?” 

“Um, I guess?” 

“I think they’re gonna kick me out, though. I haven’t done the best job at catching who I’m pursuing.” Peter raises his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side. 

“Oh? Why not?” Y/N glanced over the menu, only half listening to what her companion was saying. 

“I just like to play with them a ‘lil, like a cat and mouse. Except this time, I’m not the mouse.” 

Y/N looks at a delicious looking chicken sandwich on the menu and hums in response. 

“So, how are you and Sirius doing? It seemed pretty rough last week.” Peter takes a chunk of ice from his drink and starts chewing it. “If you want to talk about it, I guess.” 

This brings Y/N out of her sandwich-filled thoughts. “I don’t know, to be quite honest. We haven’t spoken much and I barely see him. He leaves early in the morning...comes home late at night…” Peter nods as if he was a therapist listening to a client. “I don’t want to assume the worst but he’s making it rather difficult.” 

“I wasn’t going to tell you this, because it isn’t really my business, but…” He comps down on the ice cube. “I was coming home from a mission a few nights ago and I saw him with a girl. I’m not quite sure what they were doing but it sure as hell didn’t look platonic.” 

Y/N felt her entire world shatter into her lap. “What?” 

“Yeah, I don’t know. She was really short with long black hair and a skimpy cocktail dress. They were walking into that club off of Coventry Street. I almost beat the fuck out of him right then and there, but there were bouncers.” 

Y/N bit her trembling lip and folded her hands in her lap. Rifling through her purse, she slammed the gift card down and stood. 

“Thanks for the lunch date, Peter, but I don’t feel well. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” 

“Was it something I said?!” Peter yelled at Y/N’s retreating back as she left the bar. 

~

“Are you going somewhere?” Sirius asked, gesturing to Y/N’s packed suitcases by the door. 

“Yup, I’m going to France for a week to aid burn victims,” Y/N finished brushing her teeth before packing her toothbrush. “Didn’t think you’d care.” 

“Well, I do. You could have told me.” He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms. 

“I would have if I actually saw you.” Y/N wasn’t in the mood to argue; she had about an hour before she had to leave, and she planned on using that time to relax with a cup of herbal tea. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? You see me plenty.” 

“Yeah, when you’re sleeping or showering. There’s not exactly time to chat when you leave early in the morning and come home well past midnight.” Y/N walked into the kitchen and cut a slice of bread. “Oh, by the way, Caspar brought up some sour dough, if you actually want any.” 

“Don’t change the subject like you always do, Y/N. I work hard to support us, you know that.” 

“I work hard too. And I get home before 11 every night. I’m not exactly sure how being a healer gets you home earlier than a tattoo artist, but whatever.” Y/N buttered her now toasted sourdough. 

“Sometimes a piece takes a long time, that’s not my fault! I’ve been getting big jobs recently! You should be happy for me!” 

Y/N let out a harsh laugh as she poured water into the kettle. “Do you really think I’m that fucking stupid, Sirius? Really?” 

“What do you mean? I think you’re rather smart.” Sirius followed Y/N into the kitchen and was leaning against the counter. 

“Yeah? Then why have you been lying to me for the past, I don’t know, two months?” 

“You can’t keep accusing me of things, Y/N. It’s not fucking fair!” Sirius stared holes into Y/N’s back. “For fucks sake! Look at me when I talk to you!” 

Y/N whipped around, her hair fanning around her face as she spun. “You know what’s not fucking fair? Letting a girl feel you up right in front of me. Lying about going into work. Forgetting my birthday and coming home from who knows where drunk as fuck with lipstick smeared all over your neck. Coming home drenched in another girl’s perfume. Taking your fucking side chick to a strip bar while I’m sat at home wondering if you’re fucking dead because we’re in the middle of a fucking war! You don’t know the first thing about fucking unfair!” 

“You’re not going to France, Y/N.” His jaw was clenched and his eyes held nothing but fire. The tone of his voice was like nothing she had ever heard before, at least not directed at her. He usually reserved it for people who yelled nasty things at her from the street, or when someone bad mouthed James. It felt forign to hear him use it with her. Maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought she did. “You’re not fucking going, and that’s final.” 

“What are you? My fucking mother? I’m going because I’m actually doing something good for the world, unlike your cheating ass.” Y/N pushed her way past her boyfriend and towards her luggage. 

“Don’t walk away from me!” Sirius followed her strides. He stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. “Y/N, darling, we need to talk about this-” His tone was notably softer than before, as if he was trying to glue together shards of glass. 

“Talk about what, Sirius?! How you cheated on me and won’t even deny it? How you betrayed me in the worst way fucking possible? I’m not going to let you manipulate me into putting my career on the line to work out some issue you caused.” 

“What, so now I’m not important? You’re a fucking hypocrite!” 

“And how exactly am I a hypocrite, Sirius? You treat me like shit and whine that I’m done putting up with it? Gonna go cry to James about how you are so upset I wouldn’t hear you out after you cheat on me? Well go the fuck ahead because James actually has a healthy relationship with a baby on the way. He won’t sympathize with you.” Y/N grabbed the handle of her suitcase and lifted her wand. “I’ll be back in a week and once we’ve had some time to cool off, we’ll talk about this as adults. I’ll see you soon.” 

Just as Y/N apperated out of the room, the kettle whistled and Sirius noticed Y/N left her half eaten toast on the counter. 

~

It was near two in the morning when Y/N returned home from France the following week. The home was cold, dark and vacant, and the entire appearance of the small flat had changed. In a week, Sirius had managed to completely trash the house. Even the smell of freshly baked goods was replaced with the sour smell of firewhisky and sex. 

Y/N ventured into the kitchen first, where she observed the large stack of dishes in the sink. Everything from to-go packages to their fine china (normal glass plates from the thrift) were stacked as high as the eye can see. Some were starting to mold and produce the most horrid smell. The stove housed the kettle where Y/N had left it, but this time it was cold and empty. Another pot that contained crusty spaghetti sat next to the kettle, and Y/N cringed at the thought of scraping it out. She moved to the counter where her toast, now stale, sat. Y/N picked it up between two fingers and threw it into the bin. 

She carried on into the living room next. The couch cushions were tossed about the room and the small fur throw was draped across the back of the couch. The record player in the corner still held the Fleetwood Mac record Moony had chosen on her birthday as if it were a time capsule; Y/N couldn't help but reminisce about how happy she was with her friends that evening. Maybe that proved that she could be happy without Sirius in her life, or maybe it served as a constant reminder that he was woven into every aspect of it. 

Again, the room was covered with food wrappers and alcohol bottles. Y/N feared the liquid that remained in the bottles would leak and stain the carpet, so before moving on to the bedroom, she set each one upright. 

The bedroom was what Y/N feared the most; without her present in the home, Sirius could have been intimate with an infinite amount of girls in her own bed. She shivered at the thought but pushed on and reached towards the icy door knob. 

The room was the cleanest out of the entire flat, just various clothes scattered around the floor and a messy bed. Y/N wanted nothing more but to curl up under her warm covers and press her face into the chest of the man she loved most; but that was an impossible task. He didn’t love her anymore and that was something she had to deal with, she just wished she had savored the last time he held her. 

As Y/N explored further into the room, her feet found an article of clothing that neither Sirius nor Y/N owned. Bending at the hips to pick it up, Y/N held a red, lacy v neck bra in between her fingertips. Y/N fingered the material with teary eyes. Another step forward and her feet came into contact with the matching bottoms. Y/N laid the set out neatly on the bed and wallowed; it must have looked stunning on her. 

Y/N walked to the desk, where an ink well was left open and a half written letter laid face up on the surface. She capped the ink with a wet chuckle. 

“You need to cap your ink, Sirius. If you don’t it’ll dry out. I won’t be there forever to do it for you.” Y/N said aloud, wiping her running nose. She picked up the letter against her better judgement and began to read. 

Prongs,

I know you’re mad at me, but please just hear me out. Vanessa is gorgeous, mate. She’s sweet and nice, but at the sametime she's so witty and smart-mouthed. She even listens to Queen and the Weird Sisters!

She made me believe in love at first sight, JP. 

I’m going to marry her one day, mark my words!

The ink began to run as Y/N read and cried, making small blotches of black contrast against the stark white paper. Y/N placed it onto the table and gripped the edge to steady herself. Never in her 21 years on earth had she ever felt such pain, such sorrow. Her pains were usually cushioned by Sirius’ arms and sweet slurred language in the middle of the night, or by her friends’ loud cackles. But this time, this time was different; she was alone, completely and utterly alone. 

Y/N looked to the wall in order to ground herself; a small sliver of silver moonlight slashed against the wall, illuminating the otherwise dark room. Y/N traced the line with her eyes until she landed on the wooden coo-coo clock. 

The clock was one of Sirius’ most prized possessions; it was a gift from his Uncle Alphard that he received when he ran away from the Black family. Alphard was one of the few Sirius still kept in contact with, and he was a big role model to Sirius when he grew up. Debatably, Alphard was the one who taught Sirius how to be a man. 

The present seemed lame on the surface, but that clock was one of Sirius’ favorite things when he was a child. Sirius had told stories of the long afternoons he would spend in front of the clock, waiting for the small, yellow bird to pop out of the top while Walburga and Orion fought in the background. Y/N respected Alphard with all of her being, but she wanted nothing more than to smash that godforsaken clock. She wanted to destroy everything that made Sirius happy, she wanted him to be under the same pain he was putting her through.

Y/N knew what she had to do at that very moment: she had to get out of London and move far, far away. So far away that no one would ever find her. So, she grabbed the extra suitcases in the flat and began to pack her things. 

Starting at the record corner, she picked every single one of her belongings and shoved them into her suitcase. Y/N had to shrink a few of her belongings, such as the couch, in order to fit, but in a little less than an hour, every hint of Y/N was packed away in three large suitcases. 

Y/N gave one last look at the apartment before apparating to Paris, where she knew she could start a better, more meaningful life. Maybe, she could even find a fresh bakery to supply her with warm loaves of sourdough bread. 

When Sirius returned to the flat the following morning, the only remaining aspects of Y/N were a striped scarf and two galleons folded neatly on the bed next to Vanessa’s lingerie.


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> French proves to be the language of love, and London remains the city of shattered dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: i just wanted to say that your latest fic is amazing! I was wondering if there's going to be a part2? Maybe where Y/N initially was suffering, but ends up thriving and meeting someone better, and Sirius is suffering either with or without Vanessa? and it's clear to everyone that Sirius is not doing well and clearly regretting everything that he's done?
> 
> A/N: All French is google translated, so I’m really sorry if it’s not correct. I’m sorry this took so long, but it’s here!! Shout out to my amazing beta @modern-m-a-g-i-c :D

Sirius’ eyes darted around the room, watching how the light splashed against the wall in a hazy line. He glanced at the clock in the corner and squinted to see the small clock hands: 4:46 am. The flat smelled of nearly cooked sourdough bread and Sirius could hear Jillian and Caspar preparing the day’s goods below him. He sighed contently, but pushed the duvet off of his bare body in hopes of drying his sweaty limbs.

Next to him, Vanessa stirred and rolled over with a grumpy look plastered on her features. The white silk sheets, which she had insisted they buy due to skincare and hair maintenance, flowed over the curves of her breasts like rolling hills of soft grass. Sirius allowed his eyes to follow the outline of Vanessa’s body; the slick material stuck to each curve, creating beautiful mountains and valleys of erotic skin. She sat up, making the delicate material fall down her golden body and expose her breasts and small waist. Everything about Vanessa screamed lustful fantasies and lace. 

The pillowy soft duvet laid crumpled at the end of the bed as the couple took in each other’s appearance. Sirius lifted his hand to run through the mess of hair atop his head, making the muscles in his arm flex. The man had lifted a lot of weights in the short time he had gotten involved with Vanessa; it’s what she liked. The muscle mass in his arms had nearly doubled in a year, and so had the amount of tattoos that riddled his body. Now, a huge Harley motorcycle covered his enormous right thigh, and a small “H” laid on the inside of his left ring finger for his godson, Harry. 

Vanessa hated Harry and anything having to do with the Potters; she described them as a loud, obnoxious, utterly annoying family that has no business being so rich. Sirius was never allowed to speak of them, nor allow them in the flat above the bakery. God forbid he talk about any of his other friends, either. He wasn’t allowed to speak to any of the girls without Vanessa accusing him of cheating.. You did it once, and you’ll do it again. I help cheat, Sirius, I don’t get cheated on. Remember that. 

But the person she hated the most was Remus, even though the two had only spoken once or twice. What they talked about, Sirius wasn’t sure, but he hadn’t heard from Remus since. And the only thing he could gather from Vanessa was that Remus was a freak, and that he made her so uncomfortable in her own home that she wanted to puke. 

“What time is it?” Vanessa asks, tossing her long black hair over her shoulder, revealing more of her perky breast. 

“Quarter to five,” Sirius answered with a husky, sleep ridden voice. A breathy sigh escaped his lips as he repositioned his sore body. 

“Then may I ask why you’re awake?” 

“Nightmares,” Sirius sighed and ran a hand down his tired face. He hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. 

“You’re a big boy, you don’t need to let them keep you up. Just suck it up and go back to bed.”

Vanessa laid down with her back towards Sirius, leaving him to admire the moles that littered her shoulder blades. 

“I know, I just can’t stop thinking about what Peter did to Lily and James,” His voice was soft and exhausted. 

Vanessa laughed harshly, adjusting her position on the mattress. “It’s a shame he got put in Azkaban, he wasn’t even the one who tried to actually murder them.” 

“I know, I just can’t imagine what I’d do without James, Lily and Harry.” 

“You’d be better off without them, in my opinion. But, go to sleep, Sirius. I’m too tired to talk about those people.” 

Sirius sighed, agreeing that he needed to go to sleep. So, he rolled over and draped one of his large arms across the valley of her waist, spooning her. 

“Um, what are you doing?” Vanessa snapped, turning her head to look at Sirius. 

“Nothing, I just want to go to sleep with my beautiful girl in my arms.” 

She threw her head forwards and groaned, “I’m not in the mood for your romantic shit tonight, Sirius.” 

Sirius’ heart dropped in his chest, but he rolled over and went to sleep until morning. 

~

Y/N’s heeled boots clicked against the cobblestone of the street as the young girl walked; the denim of her pants legs gently brushing against her calves and her freshly cut hair reflecting the summer sunlight. 

While the small French town of Waterglow was no Paris, it was more than perfect for Y/N and her solo endeavors. It had two main walkways that were lined with shops of all kinds, connected by small wooden bridges that stretched over the stream that ran through the middle. The stream water was the clearest water Y/N had ever seen, and it reflected the light into small rainbows that danced across the street. This, Y/N assumed, was how Waterglow got its name. Surrounding the town were miles of vineyards, with shiny red grapes growing from mile long vines. The very edge of Waterglow housed the famous wineries, where witches and wizards could come taste the wide array of magical wines that Waterglow had to offer. 

Y/N worked at the small hospital that sat at the edge of town; her main clients were “wine enthusiasts” (tourists) that had gotten too excited on their wine tasting tours and found themselves in trouble. Y/N had originally tried to transfer to the Paris branch of St. Mungos, but she couldn’t speak fluent French. This left her jobless, boyfriendless and homeless in one of the worst times of her life. With nothing else to lose, she hopped on a train in a random direction and eventually ended up in her new home. Conveniently, since Waterglow is often trafficked by visitors, nearly everyone spoke English. 

“Bon matin, [Good Morning,] Raphael,” Y/N greeted the friendly baker as she entered the bakery. He was a rather large man with a big, black beard and kind eyes; he was practically the definition of friendly giant. 

“Bonjour, chérie,” He greeted from behind the large display of baked goods and treats. “How are you on this beautiful summer morning?” 

“Enjoying my Saturday off. I might visit the winery too see what all the fuss is about. I’ve lived here for over a year and never been! And yourself?” Y/N’s eyes scanned across the enormous selection of breads, pies, cakes and other sweets. 

“Same thing, different day,” Raphael responds cheerfully. Y/N pondered if she had ever seen him in a bad mood. “The normal sourdough, madam?” 

“That would be lovely, merci.” Y/N grinned and placed four bezants on the counter before taking the brown bag that held her loaf. 

Y/N hummed happily to herself as she excited the bakery. “Au revoir, Raphael!” 

Stepping out into the bright sunlight, Y/N found herself sitting on a wooden bench that overlooked the stream to enjoy her breakfast. The pillowy soft bread coated her taste buds and danced across her tongue in a flavorful dance. It was warm and the perfect texture; the most ideal start to her day. 

As Y/N munched, she couldn’t help but allow her mind to wander to the past year. She had grown a lot, not only mentally, but in every aspect of her life. The clothes that adorned her body no longer fit the rock aesthetic of skinny jeans, boots, chains and loose t-shirts. Instead, she wore flowing blouses, flower print skirts, loose jeans and sandals that buckle at the ankle. Y/N held herself with confidence and unapologetic happiness that she took up space in the world; she was no longer in the shadow of doubt and insecurity that had riddled her life for so long. 

Her friends, too, had noticed. Lily often commented on how Y/N seemed as though she was glowing, especially compared to how she was a year prior. The scars left by Sirius and the trauma Peter had dumped upon the group were healing with new found strength, and the entire group was coming out stronger. 

The Potters were very careful of when and where Y/N was able to see Harry. More often than not, the young family would travel to Waterglow for the afternoon or weekend, which delighted Y/N. Besides Raphael and an older coworker named Claudette, Y/N had no friends in her new home. So, the Potters as well as Remus were always welcomed with open arms and kisses on the cheek. 

A shiver ran down Y/N’s spine as she recalled the fateful night Peter’s true colors had been revealed; it felt as though it happened yesterday. Y/N had just prepared her evening tea when Lily apperated into her small cottage in a hurry, clutching Harry in her arms and on the brink of tears. Lily was almost unintelligible when she explained what had happened, what Peter had done. Barbed wire wrapped around Y/N’s lungs as she tried to speak. 

“Where’s James, Lils?” 

Lily only sobbed harder and looked over at Harry sleeping soundly on Y/N’s bed. 

“Remus? Sirius?” 

“Remus and Sirius are fine,” Lily choked out and the barbed wire loosened its grip slightly. “James,” Lily hiccuped. “Told me to take Harry and run. That’s the last I heard from him.” 

Y/N rubbed comforting circles on her shoulder blades and pressed a friendly kiss to Lily’s cheek. “I’ll find him, Lily. Stay here with Harry, you’re safe here.” 

Lily nodded and Y/N disapperated out of the building. 

“Pardon me, ma’am, but are you alright?” A sultry voice pulled Y/N out of her daydream. 

“Oh, yes, thank you.” Y/N noticed her bread as gone and she was just staring at the water in wonder. The stranger slid next to her and glanced to where Y/N’s gaze was fixed. 

“Are you looking for a turtle?” 

Y/N giggled, taking in his appearance for the first time. Long golden locks fell behind his ears and to shoulders, curling out at the ends slightly. His bright blue eyes were framed by carefully groomed eyebrows, and his pink lips came to a natural pout. Y/N could feel her giggle fall embarrassingly off her lips as she checked him out.

“No, I was daydreaming. I often see turtles in there, though.” 

A brilliant smile plastered over the man’s face and his tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

“So you’re from here? I have never seen you before, which is strange as I’ve lived here since I was young. I’m Luis Delacour.” 

Y/N couldn’t help but lavish in the way he spoke; it was as if he was singing a hot lullaby into her ear. Something about this man made her unable to look away. 

“Y/N L/N,” She answered quickly, feeling a bit foolish. “I moved here a little over a year ago. I’m from London.” 

Luis leaned into the backrest lazily, outstretching his arms across the top of it and placing his ankle on his knee. Both of his thighs were exposed, and Y/N eyes followed the inseam of his black jeans all the way to the tip of his pointed boots and back up again. 

“Y/N L/N from London,” He tested how the words fell from his mouth. The name dripped like thick melted sugar from the tip off his tongue. “What brings such a beautiful woman from London to the small town of Waterglow?” 

“I needed a new start, I guess,” Y/N felt a familiar twisting sensation in her lower stomach. She welcomed it as a long lost friend. “I work at the hospital near the bookstore with Madame Claudette.” 

“Ah, my mother,” He casts a sideways look in the direction of the hospital. “I’ll have to have a chat with her for not informing me of your presence.” A goofy yet cocky smile graced Luis’ face. 

“She did mention something of having a son and daughter,” Y/N backtracks quickly. “A son who works at the winery and a daughter who goes to Beauxbatons.” 

“Ah, yes, that would be us. I’m hurt you have never come to visit me.” He swiveled his head to look at Y/N’s side profile. 

“Funnily enough, I was going to go today.” Y/N giggled despite herself, well aware of how her words sounded. “And I am not making that up!”

“Mmhm, sure,” Luis hummed. “My shift starts in an hour. I’d love to be the one to give you your first wine, free of charge.” 

~

Sirius watched Vanessa fuss with her hair for the fifth time in an hour. She sat with her back towards him at an enormous vanity in the corner of the living room, her face scrunched in concentration and her hands worked to french braid her long locks. 

The vanity was an obnoxious shade of off-white with gold handles and a large mirror, complete with tacky looking lightbulbs around the frame. It didn’t match with the pearl white and red that she covered the rest of the apartment in, and it took up more than a quarter of the living room's floor space. The young man found the furniture a complete eye sore and yearned to return the massive record display and player that once claimed the corner. But that dream could never become a reality; Vanessa had moved in so early into their relationship that Sirius didn’t have the heart to tell her no. 

The entire flat had changed; all of Sirius’ muggle music posters had been taken down to be replaced with red perfume ads and roses, and the comfy couch Y/N had taken with her was replaced with a red leather sofa. All of Sirius’ belongings, including his record collection, player, comic books, muggle film posters and other memorabilia, were pushed in the back of the entryway closet and out of sight. Even the honey colored tea towels that once hung on the oven handle were replaced with crushed red velvet scarfs. Sirius felt as though he was constantly walking on eggshells in order not to spill anything on the white faux fur rug or get motorcycle oil on the kitchen counters. He was a stranger in his own home. 

“Why don’t you leave your hair up in the ponytail? I liked it, you looked hot.” Sirius offered from the couch. Vanessa snapped her eyes to meet his reflection and scowled. 

“I know I looked hot, just not the type of hot I was going for,” Her fingers weaved her locks effortlessly and her stained-red bottom lip caught between her teeth. 

“And what type of hot are you going for? If I can recall, you’re going to visit your mother.” Sirius chuckled lightheartedly and immediately swallowed his happiness when he caught his girlfriend's eye. 

“Yes, and? Do you have a problem,” She bared her teeth wickedly, snapping her hair tie as she tied off her braid. “Darling?” 

The man took a shallow breath and deflated his chest. “It’s a tad odd that your goal to see your mother is looking hot.” 

Vanessa pursed her lips and turned on her stool. Sirius followed the line of her braid down her chest to where bar nipple rings struggled against the confinements of her tank top. Those weren’t there the last time Sirius had had sex with her, nor was he told she had gotten them. In fact, the last time they had touched each other intimately was well over a week ago. 

“What are you accusing me of, Sirius?” Vanessa’s voice shot into his chest like an arrow. Sirius felt as though he was nine again and getting scolded by his mother for breaking a vase. 

“Nothing, it was just an observation. When did you get nipple piercings?” 

Vanessa turned back to face the mirror and clenched her jaw. “I didn’t, I’m not sure where you got that idea from.” 

Sirius pushed himself to the edge of the couch, making the leather squeak. The muscles of his arms flexed as he laid them on his thighs. 

“I’m a tattoo artist and piercer, Nessa. I know what nipple piercings look like. I’m just wondering where and when you got them.” 

Vanessa pulled at the corner of her eye and applied her eyeliner; the grip on her eyeliner pen tense and guarded. “Oh, you just know, do you? I’m sure that’s the highlight of your days- seeing hot girls’ tits and getting your hands all up on them. You’re disgusting and frankly, pathetic.” 

All the air in his lungs is replaced with hell bending fire as he propels his body into a standing position. “What the fuck are you on? It’s my job! You knew that before we got together, and you know that now. You can’t shame me for paying the fucking bills while you’re off god-knows-where!” 

Vanessa throws her pen onto the surface of the vanity and stands right in front of Sirius. 

“I told you. I go see my sick mother everyday.” Tears well in Vanessa’s eyes and big water droplets begin to stream down her cheeks. “I don’t know why that’s not enough for you. You’re so controlling an-and I’m just trying to do my best. You have no idea the stress I’m going through. And then I come home and you manipulate me?! This isn’t fair. All I've done is try to be the best girlfriend I can be. For you.” 

Sirius’ heart drops and he takes the crying girl into his arms. “I’m so sorry, baby. You’re right.” Sirius bites the inside of his cheek guiltily. “I’ll be better. Can you ever forgive me?” 

Vanessa sniffles into Sirius’ shirt and pulls away. Somehow, her makeup is still perfectly intact. 

“Give me some time, and I will.” She picked up her purse from the coat rack and opened the front door. “I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.” 

~

Luis stood behind the bar pouring a rich, plum liquid into a wine glass. The winery, which Y/N later learned was called The Cove, was bustling with different people and different accents. An elderly couple at at a small table in the corner speaking French, a few University-age boys stood in another conversing loudly with thick New York accents and a lesbian couple sat a few seats away from Y/N speaking Welsh. Y/N could understand fragments of the newlywed’s conversion due to being friends with Remus for so long; they were making jokes and complaining about the obnoxious Americans almost shouting and jumping on top of eachother. 

“The finest wine for the finest lady I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” Luis said in his thick French accent, each syllable twirling off his tongue with grace. “Cabernet Sauvignon, aged eight years. A bottle of this costs nearly 50 bezant” 

Y/N took hold of the crystal wine glass and swirled the wine to form a small whirlpool; long legs of the deep red liquid stream down the sides. She brought the wine to her nose and was immediately taken on a journey of black cherry, cedar, black currant and graphite. Her eyes widened in delight. 

“Délicieuse!” Y/N exclaimed, her eyes turning towards Luis. He raised his eyebrows and rested his palms on either end of the bar. 

“Elle parle français! [She speaks French!]” 

Y/N giggles and places the crystal on the bar. “Enough to get by, yes. Nowhere near fluent but I’m trying my best. My ex was fluent so he taught me a bit, and living here has helped a lot.” 

A gorgeous, square jawed smirk forms over Luis’ features and his head tilts. “Then you should understand this just fine,” The man leans in closer to Y/N, making his golden hair sway forward. “Tu es la plus belle femme que j'aie jamais vue. [You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.]”

Y/N is at a loss of words as she stared up into his bright blue eyes. She could stay there for hours just tracing the slope of his nose with her eyes, or caressing his soft looking skin with only her gaze. Something about him was so alluring and captivating, but she couldn’t tell what. 

“You’re so fascinating,” Y/N said. “Something about you is so...compelling.”

Luis chuckled and winked. 

“Don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” His tone had moved from sincere to beyond flirty. 

“Pardon?” 

His strong hands gripped a wet wine glass and began to try it with a small purple tea towel. His fingers moved with calculated movements that made the veins below his knuckles bulge. 

“I’m half veela, belle.” 

“Oh, so you have men and women just pouring over you all the time?” It was Y/N’s turn to smirk. 

“Only beautiful ones. Speaks more about you than me, belle.” 

Y/N grasped her beverage again and took a swig, “You love that word, don’t you?” 

“What word?” 

“Belle.” 

His pearly white teeth almost blinded Y/N as he grinned. “It’s my favorite way to describe you, and I will continue to use it. May I?” 

“If I can call you,” Y/N took another sip of wine. “Pretty boy.” 

A light, airy chuckle escaped his lips as he pushed off of the bar. “Now that we have nicknames for each other, the only logical thing to do now is go on a second date,” 

“Second date?” 

“Of course, we’re on our first one right now.” 

Y/N’s cheeks heated up so quickly, she could practically feel the blood rushing through her veins. “It’s a date then, pretty boy.” 

“Magnifique.”

~

Sirius knocked four times on the heavy, dark wood door in hopes of catching his uncle before he left for work. The door was more than regal; the dark red wood complimented the golden hardware perfectly and a golden door knocker sat in the middle. He didn’t expect anything less of Alphard, not only because he was rich, but because the Black family tended to have a flair for dramatics. 

The morning was pleasantly warm, something Sirius was not used to, so beads of sweat ran down his back. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel pathetic on the doorstep of his Uncle. Whether it was the internalized guilt and trauma from his childhood, or the embarrassment of what his life had become, Sirius was unsure. 

After a few moments, the golden door knob turned and Uncle Alphard appeared in the doorway. 

The only way to describe Alphard Black was a handsome silver fox. He had long, salt and pepper hair that was pulled into a low ponytail that flowed down his back. His features were angular, exactly like Sirius’, but his nose was much pointer than his nephew’s, and his eyes were a deep brown. A dark, forest green velvet blazer covered his torso just enough that he was decent, but still, a tuft of chest hair was more than visible. This, Sirius hoped, would be what he looked like when he hit 60: physically fit, slightly cocky and well off. 

“Oh, hello, Sirius. I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you today. Come in,” Alphard greeted, stepping aside for Sirius to enter. It wasn’t uncommon for Sirius to show up on his doorstep, but it had become less and less frequent over the past few years.

“I thought you may have died,” He shot a lopsided smile towards his nephew. “But I get it, not enough time for your dear old Uncle Alphard. Too busy hitting the gym, eh?” Alphard poked Sirius’ bicep and moved into the grand entryway. 

“I’m sorry, sir, I’ve been meaning to stop by.” Sirius followed Alphard into his immense kitchen and took a seat at the bar. Alphard took his place behind it and sat on a stool. 

“May I offer you a bloody mary?”

Sirius shook his head, “No, but thank you.” 

Alphard crossed one of his long legs across the other and clasped his weaved hands over his knee. 

“How are you, my child?” He took a sip of a bloody mary he must have been enjoying before Sirius had arrived. The large silver ring on Alphard’s ring finger clinked against the tall glass merrily, making a comforting feeling of nostalgia engulf Sirius. “And Y/N, of course. I’ve always liked her, you know. She’s good for you. Have you planned an engagement-” 

“-Actually,” Sirius cut in. “Y/N and I broke up over a year ago. Uh, I’m with a new girl now. Her name is Vanessa.” 

“Oh,” Alphard’s eyebrows shot up and the glass in his hand tilted slightly in Sirius’ direction. “Does this Vanessa, say, tu se rends heureuse [make you happy]?” 

“Je ne sais pas comment répondre à ça [I don't know how to answer that],” Sirius sighs, fidgeting with his fingers nervously. “Right now, at least. That’s actually why I’m here.” 

“Do continue,” The older man waited in slight anticipation. “And I must say, for someone who rarely speaks français on a day to day basis, you are still quite good.” 

A sense of pride washed over Sirius; Alphard has been the closest thing to a loving genetic parent Sirius had had since he was 15. So, any form of praise or hint that Alphard was proud made Sirius bubble with joy. 

“Thank you,” Sirius cleared his throat anxiously before continuing. “You see, after Y/N and I broke up, Vanessa and I got together rather quickly. And I guess I feel as though I made a big mistake.”

“Pourquoi [why]?”

Sirius took a deep breath, trying to stop his quivering lip. “I did some really bad things regarding our relationship, sir. Really bad things.” 

“Nothing illegal, I hope.” Alphard chuckled and took another swig of his drink. Sirius chuckled nervously. 

“You know how I got that amazing job at that tattoo shop a while ago?” Alphard nodded and silently urged Sirius to continue. “Well, Vanessa started as one of my clients. We got to talking while I was tattooing her, and, I don’t know, we hit it off. We started seeing each other outside of work and got involved rather quickly.” 

Alphard sighed and grimaced, “I assume Y/N was unaware of this...involvement?” 

Sirius felt the disappointment radiating off of Alphard deep in his bones and all pride he felt earlier had vanished. 

“She wasn’t...until she was. I came home one night to see all of her belongings gone. Vanessa moved in later that week.” 

“Garçon stupide [you stupid boy],” Alphard placed his alcohol onto the bar and crossed his arms. “I never took you as a cheater.” 

“Well, the karma has caught up with me because I think she’s cheating on me now.” 

Alphard scoffed. 

“Sir, please, just hear me out.” The older man gestured lazily with his hand, his fingers curling with a dramatic flourish. “She’s told me she’s going out everyday to see her sick mother, yet she comes home smelling of cologne I don’t recognize, performing differently in bed, she even got a new piercing but denied it when I asked. Please, Uncle Al, please tell me what to do.” 

“I think you need to have enough self respect to leave her.” He switched positions so his other leg was now on top. “And you need to find a way to get over your demons.” 

“My demons?” 

“You are obviously guilty about something, I can tell by the way you aren’t meeting my gaze.” 

Sirius tried to bring himself to look into Alphard’s gaze, but couldn’t get past his nose. “I don’t like it when you’re disappointed in me.” 

“I think it’s more than that, my child. I meant Y/N.” 

“Y/N? Why would I be guilty about Y/N? This has nothing to do with her.” 

Alphard bit into the celery stick that was in his bloody mary with a satisfying crunch. “Cela a tout à voir avec elle [It has everything to do with her],” Alphard emphasized as if it were obvious. “Whats happening to you, everything you’re feeling and experiencing, you put her through a year ago. Except, with her, you had an actual relationship that’s not based on sex. Honestly, I thought you were going to marry that girl.” 

“Vanessa and I’s relationship isn’t based solely on sex! You barely even know anything about it!” 

“Ah, but I do. Everything you mentioned had to do with sex: The cologne, the different sex techniques and I can only assume the piercing was in a naughty place.” 

Sirius was quiet for a long while, allowing the words of his Uncle to sink in. Alphard sat patiently with a neutral head on his shoulders, like always. 

“I think of her all the time, Al.” Sirius’ voice was weak, almost like a bridge caving in. “God, I can’t get her out of my head. I’ve tried so hard to forget about here, but it’s like I physically cant stop thinking about her. My gorgeous Y/N L/N, with the soft smile and the sweet words.” 

Alphard tilted his head to the side, “And yet you treated her like your little toy. Like dirt.” 

“I don’t even know why I did it. Y/N loved me for who I am and never did anything but support me. But Vanessa… Vanessa is sin personified.” Alphard hummed and watched his nephew. “She’s so dangerous and, I don’t know, erotic. I never knew what was coming next.” 

“And now that you had that, you realize the comfort and stability and love Y/N brought you.” 

“Yeah.” Sirius rubbed his tired eyes. “I’m a fucking cock, aren’t I?” 

Alphard chuckled. “I don’t think you’re a bad person, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“What do I do now?” 

“Va obtenir ta femme [go get your wife].”

~

“He’s just… I don’t know how to describe it!” Y/N exclaimed at the Potters’ kitchen table. “He’s so charming and polite and handsome!” 

“And he works at the winery? That’s guaranteed free alcohol.” Remus responded from the chair next to her. A large glass of ice cold lemonade settled in his palm, the condensation dripping onto his hand. 

“Maybe you can get us some of that,” James adds, a gurgling Harry perched upon his knee. “French wine is incredible.” 

Lily swatted him with a tea towel and laughed. “Since when do you drink wine? Last time I checked you had an incident with firewhisky, you hate vodka and you don’t like the taste of beer. Why would you like fancy french wine?” 

“I’m a man of class, Lily flower. I love them...whites and reds and all that jazz.” 

“Mmhm,” Remus hummed, taking a leisurely sip of his lemonade. “What’s your favorite kind?” 

“You know...the kind made with grapes.” James conveniently turned his attention towards his son who was chanting “Dada” on repeat. 

“I’ll be sure to tell Luis to get you the kind of wine made with grapes, Prongsy.” 

“Tell us more about him! What does he look like? I’m sure he’s hot,” Lily sat across from Y/N and laid her chin on the palm of her hand. 

“Merlin, he’s more than hot. It’s almost as if God himself came down and hand sculpted every bone in his body before kissing his forehead and blessing him with a great arse.” 

Remus stifled a laugh. “You really must’ve been checking him out, L/N.” 

“Of course I was! It’s impossible not to! And he speaks French so beautifully. Listening to him talk is like,” Y/N sighed dreamily, “laying on a freshly cut lawn.” 

“Someone’s whipped,” James smiles towards Y/N before placing Harry onto the floor and moving to stand behind his wife. “I’m so happy for you. He sounds like a really good guy.” 

“Being a dad has made you soft, JP.” Y/N poked his stomach. “But thank you, I really hope this one works out.” 

Lily placed a hand over James’, which was now resting on her shoulder. “I’m sure it will, darling. He sounds absolutely stunning.” 

“Um,” Y/N began against her better judgement. “How’s Sirius? I haven’t seen him since the Peter incident. Is he still with that slutty bartending boyfriend stealer?” 

Remus groaned in his chair and threw his head back. 

“Unfortunately. We haven’t seen him in a while, if I’m being honest.” James sighs. “We all despise her.” 

A wicked smile filled Y/N’s face. “That makes me feel a bit better.” 

“I haven’t seen either of them since she banished me from the flat. For the better, I reckon, but still I miss the old Pads.” Remus lifted his head and picked up Harry, who was crawling towards him. Harry chirped happily at the attention from his uncle and murmured a small ‘moomy.’

“Hold on, banished? Old Sirius? What are you on about?” 

“He’s changed a lot since you last saw him. Gained a lot of muscle, a lot of insecurity and an unpleasant attitude. Think… Gilderoy Lockhart but with muscles the size of a train,” Lily explained, her face scrunching. 

“Vanessa’s pretty much banned him from seeing any of us, me especially.” Remus leaned his head down to allow Harry to wrap his pudgy arms around his neck. “I guess she put two and two together and figured out what I am.” 

All the light-hearted amusement vanished from Y/N’s body. “She didn’t expose you did she? Oh my god, I’m going to wring that girls neck-” 

“While I’m not opposed to that, she didn’t. She just called me a dirty half breed and said that if she ever saw me again that she’d turn me into the Ministry. I’m undocumented, so that could put me into some really deep shit.” 

“I didn’t know that.” James’ expression mirrored that of Y/N’s; lips pierced, eyebrows furrowed and a determined look in his eyes. 

“I know what you’re thinking, and doing anything isn’t worth it. It’ll just make the situation worse, and it isn’t worth the risk- ow, Harry, not my ear!” 

“Last time I saw that girl was when we double dated to that shitty bar of hers,” Lily cringed at the thought. “She said that she’s excited to see ‘what I actually look like after I lose the extra pregnancy weight’ and that if I ever needed help, she knew a guy who did liposuctions for cheap.” 

Y/N’s jaw was on the floor. “What the actual fuck?” 

“Yeah, let’s just say the four of us steer very clear of that bitch witch.” 

“Speaking of bitch witch,” James rocked awkwardly on his heels. “Sirius said he needs to talk to me, and that he’ll be over soon. Unless you want to face him,” He looked at the floor guiltily. “It’s time for the party to split. I hate to push you out but he said it’s an emergency.” 

“It’s fine, I have some stuff at home to do anyway. Thanks for having me, guys. You’re all always welcome to stop by Waterglow whenever you want, seriously.” Y/N hugged all three of her friends and kissed her godson on the cheek. “I miss you guys, we need to hang out more often.” 

“Of course! Now that you have a hot French man on your arm, I need to know all the dirty details.” Lily giggled happily as she hugged her best friend back. 

“Did I mention he’s a veela?” 

“What?! No way! You got a veela to fall in love with you?!” 

“I wouldn’t say in love, but that’s the basic idea.”

James grinned. “I can’t wait to hear all about it. Maybe he can get us some of that grape wine I mentioned earlier. But, seriously, it was amazing to see you again.” 

“Bye, Y/N. I miss you! Come by Hogsmede any weekend, we can get drinks at the Hogshead and hide from my obnoxious students.” Remus hugged her last and kissed the top of her head. 

“Au revoir!” 

And with a satisfying ‘pop,’ Y/N was back in her own home feeling as if she owned the world. While she didn’t wish ill on anyone, a small, petty delight filled Y/N whenever she thought about how much her friends hated her ex’s new girlfriend. 

~

“What was so important that you needed to rush over here?” James grumbled, kicking his legs back and forth. He was sitting atop his kitchen island and chewing lazily at his cuticles. 

“I talked to Alphard-” 

“Oh! The clock guy! Got it, got it.” 

Sirius ran a hand through his hair and jutted his hip out. “Yes, clock guy. And it’s extremely serious-” 

James snorted against his better judgement. 

“Prongs! Stop with the name jokes, I’m trying to be a mature adult,” Sirius tried to keep his tone firm, but there was an edge of amusement in his speech. “Anyway, it was about Vanessa.” 

“Ah yes, my favorite subject. Straight to the girlfriend after ignoring all of your friends for months.” James hopped off of the island and started to pace, moving his hands around. “No Hi, James! How are you doing, James? How’s my godchild that I haven’t checked on in months, James?” 

Sirius sighed. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, JP. I should have come around more.” 

“No, no, I get it. Your werewolf-phobic girlfriend takes priority over your friends who have been there for you since you were 11. But it’s fine, I get it.” James scoffed and hopped back onto the counter. “So, what about Vanessa?” 

Sirius shifted his weight onto his other hip and crossed his arms. “I know I fucked up, and I apologized. I don’t know what else you want me to do.” 

“You didn’t apologize because you’re sorry, you apologized because you got called out and you feel like you have to.” 

“I know I’ve been a really shitty person for the past few months-”

James scoffed. “Try the past year and a half, Padfoot. I don’t know why you thought your actions were okay. I’m all for your happiness and everything, believe me, but you can’t expect to treat your family like shit and be welcomed back with open arms.” The squeaking sounds of Harry’s swing filled the room. “I’m tired of you defending your girlfriend’s shitty actions.” 

Sirius was taken aback; he could only ever remember one time James was ever so openly livid with him. The furious twinkle in James’ eye and the tension in his jaw made Sirius feel as though he was a young boy being scolded by his mother. In a way, Sirius supposed he was. James had filled the footsteps of many people that SIrius had lacked in his life; supportive friend, dependable brother and in some cases, a proud and supportive parental figure. Seeing his face flash between disappointment, anger and sadness was worse than any punishment Sirius could have received. It would have been better for him to punch Sirius or scream at him. That way, at least Sirius would be able to fight back. 

“I haven’t defended anything she’s done,” Sirius settled, knowing his words had little impact. He felt like small soldiers stuck in his chest were sending distress calls to his tear ducts and vocal chords. 

“You didn’t say anything, either. You sat by while she pulled apart my wife’s insecurities, insulted my son and threatened to expose Remus-” Each phrase James spoke was encased in fire that grew as he spoke. 

“Threatened to expose Remus? What are you on about?” 

“Yeah, he was here earlier. He told us that she called him a halfbreed and threatened to expose him to the Ministry. A wonderful choice in women, Pads.” James shook his head and bit into a hangnail on his thumb. “Speaking of wonderful women, Y/N was over here earlier too. She’s doing great, I’m really happy for her. She could have been doing well all along but, y’know, that’s just another thing that you ruined within the past year and a half.” 

The guilt Sirius was nurturing only grew at the mention of Y/N; he still thought of that girl every time he had the chance. Whether it was the way she smelled, the sound of her laugh, or even just the way her presence felt, he could never free her from his subconscious. Sirius often found himself staring at the kitchen and imagining her cooking, or looking at Vanessa’s vanity and yearning to see Y/N dancing along to the record player that once owned that space. Everytime he heard one of the artists she loved so much, his stomach would retaliate and he could almost feel the bile sprinting up his throat. 

“Don’t you dare mention Y/N, Potter.” Sirius nearly growled. His eyes narrowed dangerously, as if he was about to jump his brother. Still, James remained unbothered, picking at his skin and kicking his legs. 

“Why not? She’s only the girl you were so set on marrying until you threw it all away for some sketchy girl who doesn’t even respect you.” James knew he was approaching dangerous territory, but the frustration of this entire situation was taking a toll on him. It pained him to see Y/N so devastated, and he was sick and tired of his family being treated like scum. 

“You weren’t there, you don’t know what happened.” 

“Don’t know what happened? Sirius, you cheated on the love of your life. That’s exactly what happened. Vanessa doesn’t listen to you, she gaslights you every chance she gets, and she isolated you from everyone that wasn’t her. Open your eyes! You’re not fucking stupid!” 

Sirius stayed blankly at a fruit bowl that sat on the Potters’ kitchen table. He knew what James was saying was right, but his ego had put a wall between defending himself and accepting the truth. 

“No she doesn’t, Prongs. You don’t know my relationship. Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t talk to you anymore. All you do is try and parent me. You’re not my mother!” 

“You’re right, maybe you coming here was all just a huge mistake.” James hopped off of the counter and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl. 

Sirius’ heart deflated. “Prongs-” 

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it.” James held out the fruit to Sirius as a kind of peace offering. Sirius took the banana into his hands and examined it. 

With his head down, tears started to fall from Sirius’ eyes, leaving long, thick, salty trails down his cheeks. Once the tears started rolling down his face, they kept coming, and coming, and coming. 

“My life’s a mess, James. I don’t know what to do.” 

James embraced Sirius, letting the man cry into his shoulder. 

“I know, big guy. It’s going to be okay.” 

“You don’t know that! In a span of like, 50 weeks, I ruined my entire life. I cheated on the most beautiful, caring and perfect woman I’ve ever met, I was a total dick to all of my friends, put Remus in danger, and now I’m fighting with you-” Sirius cut himself off with a harsh sob. “I’m worthless and I’m never going to recover.” 

“You’re not worthless, Paddywack. You’re just going through a rough patch right now, it happens.” James hummed, running his hand up and down Sirius’ back. “On the bright side, look at how buff you are! You could practically crush a train with your bare hands.” 

Sirius laughed wetly. “I hate it. I hate lifting weights, I hate going to the gym, and I hate being so big. A little muscle, sure, but my arms are too big for my jacket now. I don’t know, I don’t feel like me.” 

“Then stop?” 

“It’s not that simple.” 

James lets go of Sirius and walks towards his fridge. “And how so? Did you get addicted to exercise or something? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that's dangerous.” He opens the door and pulls out a beer for Sirius and a bottle of orange juice for himself. 

Sirius happily takes the beer and opens it, allowing the bottle cap to fall to the floor. James quickly picks it up while mumbling something about choking hazards. 

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that Vanessa likes it.” 

“To hell with what Vanessa likes!” 

Sirius takes a long swig of the beer, savoring what the liquid tasted like. “Can I get your opinion on something?” 

“Go for it.” 

“I constantly change myself to fit her ideals, but she always goes on and on about how she can never change because she’s just the way she is.” 

“Yeah, cause she’s a shitty person. I’m not saying that you should expect her to change, because trying to change your partner is a whole other string of issues. But she expects you to change and isn’t willing to work on herself. That’s a shitty person mentality if i’ve ever heard one.” James takes a casual swig of his orange juice as if it was a beer and he was socially drinking. 

“Y/N never tried to change me.” 

“Yeah, cause Y/N wasn't a shitty person. Honestly, if I was you I would break up with the bitch witch and just move on.” 

Sirius and James go silent for a long while; Sirius was staring off in space while James observed Sirius’s face and tried to guess what he was thinking. 

“You know, when Vanessa first moved in above the bakery I always wondered what Y/N felt like after she left.” Sirius said, gesturing forward with his bottle.

“Sewage, that’s what she felt like. Complete, and utter sewage.” 

Harry whined from his swing and motioned to be picked up. James walked over and lifted him out of the seat, kissing his cheek and placing the young boy on his hip. 

“Great visual, Prongs.” 

“It’s from her mouth directly. Y/N really described herself as feeling like sewage.” 

Sirius chuckled and turned his head to the side to take a drink. “I think I know how she feels now.” 

“What do you mean?” James asked, bouncing his son up and down. Harry squealed happily and reached out towards Sirius. Sirius took Harry into his arms and ruffled his hair. 

“I think she’s cheating on me.” 

James nodded solemnly, “I hate to say it, but that doesn’t surprise me.” 

“I just feel like absolute death every fucking time I see her because I just know shes going behind my back.” 

“Break up with her, Sirius. Or do what Y/N did and just leave.” 

Sirius chuckled, “I wish, but my name is the one on the lease.” 

~

Y/N’s cheeks fell victim to the brisk wind as she waited in the twilight. The sky was a dark purple, which reminded Y/N of a slab of amethyst or a beautiful sapphire. The stars were reminiscent of the gorgeous, sparking peaks of an amethyst crystal, which filled Y/N with the utmost joy. Stars were a rare sight in London, due to the insane amount of lights, so actually being able to view the stars made Y/N feel nostalgic. At Hogwarts, the sky glittered with a thousand suns all through the night and you could see nearly every constellation from every tower. Y/N reminisced about the long nights she and Sirius would lay in the center of the Quidditch pitch to stare up at the diamonds above; some of their most emotionally intimate moments had happened on that field. She longed to give her younger self a hug and to advise her to not waste her time on such a disgraceful relationship. 

Honestly, thinking of Sirius embarrassed Y/N. She had put so much trust and love into a relationship with a guy who stomped on her heart and tore her self confidence to pieces. Why wasn’t she enough? Y/N caught herself reliving and analyzing the relationship in her mind to try to navigate where she went wrong. Was she too messy or too clean? Did she annoy him, crowd him or isolate him? Was she unsatisfactory emotionally or sexually? Y/N didn’t know, but something in the back of her mind pestered her to obsess over it until she couldn’t function. Sirius had her wrapped around his finger almost a year later, and it was humiliating. 

“Salut, belle ,” Luis’ thick accent kicked Sirius out of Y/N’s mind. The man came behind her and pressed a kiss to his date’s cheek.

Y/N let out an adorable little squeal and jumped back a few inches. “Oh my god! Don’t do that!” She whacked his arm playfully and rolled her eyes. “Don’t you know it’s rude to sneak up on a lady like that?” 

A smirk rose to his lips and a cocky presence engulfed his being. “Rude in what way, Y/N?” 

She slapped him again, but rocked nervously on her heels. “You know what I meant,” 

“Well, in order to not be rude, may I escort you to our second date?” Luis offered his date his elbow, and waited in anticipation. 

“How could I refuse a face like that, hm?” Y/N wrapped her hand into the crook of his elbow and began to walk in the direction Luis was headed. 

Instead of walking towards The Cove as Y/N had expected, Luis guided her past the town, over one of the small wooden bridges and into the large field of grapes. Long, straight rows of grape vines surrounded the couple as they walked. 

“You’re not going to… I don’t know… kill me, are you?” Y/N laughed nervously, cuddling into her date’s side. While it was the summer, the nights were chilly and the breeze wasn’t helping. 

Luis laughed and shook his head. “Now that would be rude, Y/N.” 

The pair walked up to a big patchwork quilt laid across the soft foliage on the ground. All around it were beautiful candles floating and illuminating the otherwise pitch black area. On the blanket sat a small picnic basket, Y/N wondered what was inside. 

Y/N looked towards Luis, his previously sharp features softened from the candlelight. 

“What’s this?” She asked, a fluttering excitement filling her belly. 

“What, did you expect me to take you on a cliche date to the cafe? No, that’s not how I do things.” He gestured an outstretched hand towards the quilt. “Sit, sit.” 

When Y/N lowered herself to the ground, an instant sense of calm overflowed her brain. The blanket was so soft under her skin that it made her want to curl up in Luis’ lap and take a nap. Paired with the romantic candle lighting, Y/N had never felt so appreciated and taken care of in her life. 

“So,” Luis began, opening the basket and taking out its contents. “I thought that we could have appetizers here then apperate to Paris and go to Nicholas Flamel's. I know, it sounds odd, but he converted his Paris home into a restaurant… It’s supposedly the oldest stone house in the city. I’ve been dying to go.” 

Y/N’s eyes were the size of saucers. Gourmet cheeses and deli meats of all kinds flowed onto the blanket, quickly followed by beautifully baked cheese gougères. Luis smiled bashfully. 

“Mother makes the best cheese gougères, I thought we could make some small sandwiches… If it’s a bit much, let me know and we can scrap everything.” 

“No! This is wonderful, Luis. Truly, thank you.” 

He let out a breath and handed Y/N one of the cheese gougères. “Okay, just let me know, yeah? Here, to make your sandwich.” 

“Thank you, love,” Y/N loaded her sandwich with the cheese and some prosciutto. The delicious flavors coated Y/n’s taste buds in domestic bliss. 

“So, tell me all about you.” Luis leaned back onto his elbows with his legs stretched out across the blanket. 

“Oh, well, I went to Hogwarts and I was in Gryffindor. I met my best friends James, Lily and Remus there. James and Lily are married and I’m godmother to their son, Harry.” 

"Marraine. Je devrai le rencontrer un jour. [Godmother. I'll have to meet him one day].”

“Ils vous aimeraient vraiment, mon amour. James… [They would really like you, love. James…]” Y/N hesitated. “I don’t know how to say ‘specifically’ in French.” 

Luis laughed, throwing his head back. His golden hair slid against his forehead and across his shoulders. 

“Your French is very good for someone who’s from London.” 

“I’m still learning, and I’m far from fluent, but thank you. ” Y/N scooted closer to the boy and carded her body next to his. “What about you, beau garcon? What’s your story?” 

A soft hand settled on Y/N’s waist and Luis’ minty breath fanned across her face. 

“I was born here in Waterglow, so I know every inch of this place with my eyes closed. My sister, too. I went to Beauxbatons and was in the house Ombrelune, which is the ‘spirit’ house. I studied abroad at Ilvermorny for my fifth and sixth year, hence the english.” His gaze traveled across her skin with feather light touches, basking in the dim light and her soft appearance. “Once I graduated, got a job at The Cove, and here we are. ” 

Y/N slid her hand up to his shoulder and down his arm. Her fingers slid across his muscular arms and soft skin easily, making her mind wander. 

“Spirit?” 

“Yes, ma’am. The houses are based on...how would you say...alchemical principles. Ombrelune is mercury, which is seen as clarity and spirit.” 

The pair inched closer until their bodys were pressed flushly against each other. 

“Sounds riveting.” 

Luis hummed, his pupils dilating. “I meant what I said previously, Y/N.” The hand on her waist rubbed her skin in little circles. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” 

Y/N smiled softly, pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth. The hot contact of skin on skin was electric, sending all negative thoughts of herself out the window. Y/N had missed this feeling; she missed feeling like a powerful, smitten woman.

“I am?” 

Luis looked deep into Y/N’s eyes as if he was searching for the answers to the universe. “Oui, I can’t wait to admire you for the next however long.” 

“So we’re not even halfway through this date and I already secured a third?” 

“And a fourth, fifth and hundredth as far as I’m concerned.” 

“Let’s talk about our future adventures over dinner then, yeah?” 

~

“Hello, babe!” Vanessa said as Sirius entered the flat. The comforting bread smell from the morning was now faded and was replaced with some fancy french perfume. 

“Hi, Vanessa. How was your mother?” 

Vanessa screwed her face up and shifted her position on the couch. “Why do you always have to start with that?” 

“Because that’s where you’ve been all day?” Sirius kicked his shoes off at the door and walked into the kitchen to grab some food. Upon opening the fridge, he found that the only food inside were chicken breasts, kale, spinach, rice and some fruit. Sighing disappointedly, he picked up the container of blueberries and stood at the counter. 

“Well,” The girl faltered. “You could start with a compliment on my new shoes!” She lifted her leg to show a black, sparkly heel strapped all the way up her ankle. 

“Oh, nice, when did you get those?” 

“Today! I swung by that gorgeous little shop near the bar-” 

“-Bar? I thought you were with your mom?” 

Vanessa giggled fakely. “Of course I was, silly! I meant on Saturday!” 

“You were with me on Saturday,” Sirius popped a rather large blueberry into his mouth. “When will you ever stop lying?” 

“Lying?! Why would I ever lie to you? I can’t believe you would ever say such a thing after all I do for you!!!” She sniffled, her perfectly manicured hands coming to wipe her dry eyes.

“What the fuck do you ever do for me? Blow me?” 

“Yes! It’s really hard and it takes so much effort.” 

“Oh, please. The only thing you actually put effort into is your appearance and sneaking around behind my back.” Sirius walked from behind the counter and came face to face with Vanessa. 

“Well maybe if you actually did anything interesting I wouldn’t have to sneak around! You come home from your ‘art’ studio,” Vanessa raised her hand to mimic quotation marks as she spoke. “And all you want to do is watch T.V, listen to your annoying fucking music, or work on that stupid motorcycle! I’m tired of being second fiddle!” 

“Second fiddle? I allow you to live in my house for free! I cook for you, I clean for you, I work for you, I spend time with you. I’m not sure what life you’re living, but I’m pretty sure I make plenty of time for you.” 

“Yeah, you want to spend time with me after you’re covered in grease and grime! Sorry, but I don’t want to be around that!” 

Sirius scoffed deep in his chest, sticking his jaw out and shaking his head. “Pardon me, I want some free time after doing fucking everything to support you.” 

“I have my own job, thank you very much. I can support myself, just like how I bought these shoes. You’re my boyfriend, you should be buying them for me!” 

“Those shoes look like they cost 300 galleons! I’m sorry, I can’t exactly afford to drop that kind of coin at a moment's notice!” 

Vanessa sat on the couch dramatically. 

“Yet you bought that snotty brat a 300 galleon toy racing broom. He’s like 2 months old! Why does he need a broom that he’s going to grow out of?” 

Sirius put a hand on his hip and the other on the bridge of his nose. “First of all, Harry isn’t a snotty brat and he is not 2 months old. And, it was his birthday. I’m his godfather, so sorry if I wanted to buy him a nice present!” 

“Oh, right, godfather.” Vanessa said, her voice snoody. “Godparent with that goody-two-shoes ex bitch Y/N. How could I forget?” 

“What the fuck does this have to do with Y/N?!” 

“Only the fact that you’re fucking obsessed with her. Don’t think I don’t see how you mope around this place.” 

“Okay? I’m still not sure what the fuck she has to do with anything.” 

Vanessa laughs. “It has everything to do with it. You’re still fucking in love with her, and I’m tired of it. I can keep you away from those toxic and manipulative friends of yours, but that stupid bitch can’t leave your brain. I’m your girlfriend, Sirius. Get fucking used to it. I’m just trying to help you.” 

“My friends are toxic and manipulative?! Look the fuck in the mirror!” Sirius gestures towards the huge one on her vanity. “You’re the one cheating on me!” 

An evil smile breaks out across Vanessa’s face and she stands so she's directly in front of Sirius. Her long fingers reach out to grab his jaw, the red acrylics on her fingers scratching his skin as she forcefully shook his head back and forth. 

“Oh, baby, you should have expected that. I helped you cheat on your girlfriend, and so I cheat on you. It’s how I work. You should have known this before you got,” She squeezed his cheeks so he made a fish face. “Attached.” 

“Get out.” Sirius’s speech was laced with spice and arsenic. “Get the fuck out of my house.” 

“Oh, baby boy, you don’t want me to do that.” 

“GET. OUT.” 

Sirius shouting startled Vanessa, and the waterworks began again. Her hand fell from his face and her upper body keeled forwards. 

“W-where will I go? Sirius, love, don’t do this! I love you so much.” 

The man left her standing there as he ripped her things off of the wall and out of the closet. All of the dressers were near bare, and the living room looked identical to what it did when Y/N had left. The couch was missing, as was her repulsive vanity. After her ugly furniture was shrunk, he threw all of her belongings into one suitcase before tossing it out the window and onto the pavement below. 

Sirius turned to face the girl, his face and body rock solid. “Leave. I never want to see you here again,” His voice mimicked the growl of an angry dog. 

Just as Vanessa was out the door, she turned around to look at her now ex with dry eyes.

“She’s never going to take you back, you know. The only reason I liked you was because you were hot, decently rich, and good at sex. But, deep down you’re nothing but a pussy. I have hundreds of boys who are lined up for me. You? You have no one. No friends, no girlfriend, no family… you’re nothing. When you crawl back to that little bitch she’s going to laugh in your face because she knows exactly what you are. A no life with no potential. Good luck with that, darling, because I was all you had left.” 

Her evil laugh echoed through the stairwell, bakery, street, and Sirius’ mind. 

~

Sirius sat on a splintering, sun bleached wooden bench looking across the river of Waterglow. The early autumn had begun to chill, forcing brightly colored leaves to flutter through the air and into the water. Sirius tucked his hands into his still-slightly-too-tight leather jacket, and watched some toy sailboats float past him. A group of primary school aged kids ran after them in fits of laughter. 

The young man, now aged 23, had never been to Waterglow before. In fact, he had never been to this side of the country. After his nasty break up with Vanessa, he had exterminated the lease on his flat, took a leave of absence at the tattoo parlor, said goodbye to some friends, and set out on an adventure of a lifetime. France was the obvious choice in Sirius’ mind;he grew up there and spoke the language, so he spent the foreseeable future exploring every part of the country. 

Something about train travel calmed his nerves and eased his anxious mind, so that was the means of travel Sirius chose. Starting in London, he took the Eurostar to Paris, to Versailles, to Mont Saint-Michel, and to various smaller towns along the way. He was constantly on the move, never staying more than two weeks in one place Somehow, after nearly six months on the road, he ended up at the small town of Waterglow for lunch and hopefully a comfortable night’s stay. Still, a small piece inside of him knew he was searching for Y/N, as he assumed she was somewhere in France, and he had a small glimmer of hope that he would find her. 

“Est-ce que tu vas bien? [Are you alright?]” A man sat next to Sirius with a concerned look on his face. “Tu as l'air contrarié. [You look upset.]” 

Sirius nodded, looking towards his new companion. The man appeared very similar to Sirius; long hair, chiseled features, strong build. The only real difference was his general face shape and the color of his hair. 

“Oui, merci. [Yes, thanks.]” 

“You know, if you look hard enough in the water you might see a turtle.” The blonde leaned back onto the bench and gestured towards the water. “There’s a ton.” 

“Yeah?” Sirius chuckled. “I love turtles.” 

“Who doesn’t?!” 

“Stupid people.” 

“Stupid people,” Luis nodded in agreement. “I’m Luis, by the way. What brings you to Waterglow?” 

“Sirius,” The two men shake hands. “And I don’t know. I’m on this whole soul-searching journey right now and I’m just passing through.” 

“Introspection. Ça a l'air sérieux. [Soul searching. Sounds serious].” Luis grinned. 

“Is that supposed to be a name joke? Because honestly, I’ve heard better.” Sirius matched his new friend’s grin. “But yeah. I guess I’m looking for something I lost a while ago.” 

“Well, you came to the right place. Great wine, great people, great scenery. Funny, my girlfriend moved here for the same reason.” 

Sirius places his right ankle on his left knee and laid an arm across the back of the bench. “Sounds like I came to the right place, then. Maybe I’ll find what I’m looking for here.” 

The pair continued their conversation for a few more minutes before a third voice made Sirius’ heart drop. 

“Luis, babe, your sister sent you a letter from Ilvermorny! Oh, I can’t wait to hear how it’s going! I wish Hogwarts would have offered study abroad programs!” 

The two boys turned around to face Y/N with opposite expressions. Luis jumped up to take the letter from his girl’s hand happily, whereas Sirius sat stunned, unsure of what to do. 

Y/N’s eyes met Sirius’ almost immediately, her facial expression matching his. 

“Sirius.” Her voice was small and tentative, making warning bells go off in Luis’ mind. He looked at Sirius with furrowed eyebrows, pulling Y/N into his side. 

“Y/N- what are you doing here?” 

“I live here. What’s your excuse?” 

Sirius’ mouth was dry as he looked at her. She looked so different from the last time he had seen her, so grown up. Her cableknit, mustard colored sweater hugged her curves perfectly, and the brown boots that covered her feet made her at least an inch taller. 

“I’m sorry, how do you know each other?” Luis asked Y/N, very obviously directed at only Y/N. 

“That’s Sirius Black, Luis.” 

Realization flooded the man's mind as he looked towards Sirius. “Ah, yes, now I remember.”

Sirius rose to his feet quickly; wood from the bench poked into his jacket and ripped from it’s frame as he stood. 

“Y/N, you have to hear me out-” 

“Elle n'a rien à faire! [She doesn’t have to do anything!]” Luis snapped, tightening his grip on her waist. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this concerned you,” Sirius countered, picking the wood off of his clothing. “Stay the fuck out of it and let me speak.” 

“Since Y/N is my girlfriend, it is my business. So how about you leave your washed up arse out of her life where you belong.”

Sirius ignored the man and spoke directly to Y/N who was doing anything to avoid Sirius’ gaze. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry. I fucked us up in more ways than one, and I can only imagine the pain I put you through. If it makes you feel better, she cheated on me too.” 

Y/N scoffed. “I know, James told me forever ago. And to be quite honest, I don’t really give a fuck about you, Vanessa, or really anything having to do with whatever relationship we had. It was over two years ago, Sirius, I’m a different person. I got over it. Maybe you should too.” 

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel anything when you look at me, Y/N. What we had was so real and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I’m still so fucking in love with you and I can’t stop imagining what would have happened if I had treated you right.” 

Luis took a step forward to size Sirius up; they were around the same size, though Sirius was much stronger than he was. 

“That’s just it, mate. Imaginary. You and her are imaginary. And based on what you did, that’s how it’s going to stay forever.” 

Sirius tried to keep his bubbling anger at bay. “Vous ne savez pas de quoi vous parlez. [You don’t know what you’re talking about].” 

“Oh non? Drôle, car je sais tout ce qui s'est passé. Tous les détails juteux, toutes les choses dites, toutes vos actions, tout. [Oh, don't I? Funny, cause I know everything that happened. All of the juicy details, all of the things said, all of your actions, everything.]’ Luis shook his head and stepped towards Sirius as if he were a lion stalking his prey. “I will never let you hurt my girl like that ever again, do you understand? I don’t want you anywhere near her, or me for that matter.” 

“You have absolutely no authority to tell me what I can and can’t do, blondie.” Sirius harshly shoved Luis’ chest back. “And get the fuck out of my face. I’m trying to have a fucking conversation with someone.” 

Luis shoved him back, harder. “Don’t lay your fucking grubby, cheating fingers on me. I don’t know where your dirty arse has been.” 

Sirius’ nose scrunched and he swung without a second thought. Blood poured from Luis’ ivory skin and onto the concrete of the sidewalk. From either side of the river pedestrians watched on, surprised to see Luis getting physical with someone. Normally, he was a gentle soul with a bark worse than his bite. 

“That’s enough, Sirius.” Y/N demanded, her voice riddled with needles and blades. She delicately took Luis into her arms and led him away. Luis, who was ready to fight back to defend not only himself, but those around him, recognized her tone and took a step back. “I don’t want anything to do with you. Hell, I don’t ever want to see your face again. You have absolutely no right to come into my home and attack my boyfriend. Get the fuck out of here.” 

“This isn’t your home, Y/N. Your home is in London, with me.” Sirius pleaded, his mind hazy and vision failing. “Please, I’m practically nothing without you, darling. I need you.” 

“Maybe that’s your problem. Get out and grow up. Waterglow is more my home than London ever was, and Luis is a better boyfriend than you ever were. So please, spare us both the embarrassment and just get the fuck out of here.”

“Y/N, please-” 

“You heard what I said and I’m not going to repeat myself. Get. Out.” 

Y/N turned on her heel and started leading her boyfriend towards the hospital to heal his wounds. 

Sirius stayed in the eye of the onlookers absolutely mortified. He didn’t mean to attack Luis, he was just so… so angry. The heart inside his chest pumped a mile a minute as he broke down, slamming himself onto the bench. A long jagged sliver of wood stabbed into Sirius’ back from where his jacket had tore at it, but he didn’t mind. Sirius felt relieved that it gave some sort of physical resemblance to the pain he felt on the inside. 

~

“I’m so sorry, my love. Can you ever forgive me?” Luis trembled once the pair entered the hospital. He was definitely a lover, and didn’t enjoy fighting to any capacity. 

“Forgive you for what?” 

“Everything that just happened! It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t stopped to see if he was okay this wouldn’t have happened.” 

Y/N thoroughly cleaned his wound and taped it with her wand. “It’s not your fault, it’s his. You did nothing wrong. I’m just happy you’re here.” Y/N pressed a searing kiss into his forehead. 

“I hate how he talked about you. You’re not some piece of meat that is there whenever he wants it.” 

Y/N hummed in response. 

“He has absolutely no right to try and sweep you up-” 

“Baby, love, darling,” Y/N cooed. “I am so in love with you. The end of the world couldn’t separate us.” 

“He just made me so angry. You’re the most precious thing I have in this world, and to see you spoken to like that…” 

“I know, I know. But you’re here with me now, and that’s all that matters.” 

“I will love you forever, Y/N L/N, mark my words.” Luis, Y/N’s boyfriend, spoke as he kissed her cheek. 

“Good, because that’s all I ever want. I’m so happy everything’s different, my love. You changed my world, my life, and everything in between.” Y/N sighed happily. “You’re my true forever.”


End file.
